saudade
by flosculous
Summary: "Only marriage can support two clans and unify them with glorious bond" the smile that graced lips of Senju leader awakened her gag reflex and she placed a hand on her abdomen as if she could prevent nervousness that rose in her stomach. She wasn't going to be sold. She was going to be sacrificed. Feudal Au [Madasaku]
1. Prologue

_Saudade_

 _\- (n.) a nostalgic longing to be near again to something or someone that is distant, or that has been loved and then lost: "the love that remains"._

 **AN:** that's AU of Naruto, somehow in feudal era but not necessarily correct in many areas of that period. the main subject of this story is of course Sakura and her character development but mostly the cold, hard truth about political value of prospering villages. there are clans that are named as in Naruto verse, for example Senju, Uchiha. the things that can throw reader away might be the young age of people who marries in it, but please remember that in feudal era girls were very young when they married. ive made different changes when it comes to age of characters, the presence of characters that lived before or died after some other characters - they are thrown in this together. Sakura is 17, Madara is 28, Itachi is 24 - the rest will be explained later. Next update within 2 weeks.

* * *

They didn't know from whom she was born or from where her family roots came. Small group of Senju clan has found her in a tiny basket, covered in nothing but a light blanket. It was miracle, they were saying, that the newborn survived cold autumn that has been in the air. They took her into their village and that was the beginning of her life - a life that she is living in the midst of political issues between many strong leaders of different parts of the country.

Her adoptive mother named Mito was only fifteen when she was married to the head of Senju clan, Hashirama who by far was the most influential man in the whole camp. Mito agreed to rise pink haired baby at the age of sixteen because of the pity that she felt while looking at pale looking limbs and green eyes of the infant. There was displeasure coming from her native region which has been named Uzumaki, that she shouldn't have adopt an unknown child without having heirs herself but she quickly repressed the rumours by being pregnant when Sakura was three years old. Her name wasn't unusual as she has first thought to be, looking at her outer appearance the name given her by her mother was almost ironically perfect. She was called beauty of their village for her whole life but that was all of compliments that she has received because more than loveliness she was considered to be a bad luck. She didn't suit a canon of typical villager girl; and for the most part she was hated for being adoptive child of the Hashirama and Mito.

She owed them a huge debt, a debt of life and well being. If it wasn't for them she would have been dead and eaten by the forest animals.

* * *

She saw Uchiha once.

Her fingers were occupied with papers and she was looking at her feet not to trip over a hem of her dress when she was stopped by huge, masculine hand. She was always surrounded by women, servants and her mother - her brothers always on the run, hunting and practising their deadly attacks on each other - so she didn't know how to react to such forward gesture she dropped scrolls and looked down with curtsey. From what she could see he was standing close to her, his body clothed in dark armour with red flames on the plate of his chest. The purple colour of his robe that was underneath gave an aristocratic touch to his attire.

"Where's the main base?"

His voice was deep and rough and she curiously eyed his strong jaw from the crown of her hair. Her hand slowly rose to show him the way when she met his blank stare. He was beautiful, if a word could describe the person standing in front of her. His long hair was softly trapped in a low pony tail and he had long lashes that caressed upper eye lids, she blinked few times before awkwardly collecting fallen parchments. She didn't have any close relations with boys from her village so she softly mused under her breath, thinking how different Uchihas looked from all of the Senju men. The sharpness that wasn't so common here made her think of stone figures that were shaped of human proportions.

"Thank you," she was straightening when he decided to speak again. "You've missed this one" he handed her paper with brownish signet and turned his back. Between his shoulders was the crest of his clan that almost made her feel the weight of it, she wondered if someday she would wear any emblem on her back.

* * *

The evening walk from library to the main compound for Sakura was the most fascinating and pleasurable thing to do. Far from nasty remarks and unkind stares she could easily watch starry sky or how leaves fell from almost bare trees surrounding her home. Her hands touched her hair and with one swift motion she threw them over her shoulder so she could make a plate from it. She often thought of herself as a ghost - always so pale and bright among brown haired people, only her mother with a vibrant red hair made her feel less extraordinary and out of the place. Truth to be told, her duty always laid in Mito hands. If Mito said anything, Sakura always done it without asking any questions. Maybe it was for her love that has emerged from her young heart towards the person that has been taking care of her for almost seventeen years now.

She halted when she saw gates to the grand family house. Sighing she walked towards the well and grabbed free wooden bucket. The rope was old and her palms softly gripped rough edges of it and pulled it with all her force. When she spotted half watered vessel she started to pull it out. Touching the cold liquid she drank few cups formed from her fingers.

"Didn't your father tell you that you should be more careful with things like that?" she put the bucket on the ground and looked at her new companion. He gestured to her to move and they slowly made their way towards the district. "You were absent for the whole day. Where have you been?" her hands played with a hem of her sleeve when she listened to monotonous questioning from her Senju relative.

"I've been reading. You should know better to not address Hashirama-sama as my father. We both know that I'm in no position to call him that" glancing in white haired man direction she kept her stoic composure. "Is that all you wanted to say?" she didn't mean to be rude. Tobirama was always behaving strange with her, at first he treated her as an enemy, later when she was growing up he watched over her as an older brother should and now he seemed to be her shadow. For one thing she resembled her adoptive mother, she didn't like to be mentored. Crossing her arms over her chest she faced older man with sceptic look on her young face.

"Always so disrespectful. Have you seen something unusual today?" he studied her expression with suspicion.

"Uchiha. I saw Uchiha at the road to library" her frown deepened when he took one of her arms and started to march with her to the most isolated place in the residence. "What are you doing?" her voice was calm but she simply couldn't let him drag her as if she was a dog. The white curls of his hair shone in the sunset light and she thought about pearls that she had seen when she was six year old on the neck of the one of the Uzumaki delegates.

"Did you hold a conversation with him?" his question was articulated with strength and venom which was slightly disturbing to her, knowing that within whole country was a peaceful period without wars and assassinations. She nodded and watched as his face changed to solemn scowl within few seconds, the sound of wind was the only thing she could hear for at least three minutes. Tobirama's passive body language threw her off her silly thoughts about nature as she taped her finger onto his chest with troubled face.

"There is an awakening in resistance within Uchiha. The troops informed Hashirama that they aren't satisfied with their land and they plan to gather forces to raid villages" he looked pained but even though his monologue didn't waver. "We decided that we should propose a treaty for them to settle, there's going to be an assembly. The Uzumaki, Uchiha, Hyuga and Senju are going to discuss the meaning of this outbreak and decide on what the treaty should have consisted of"

Her green eyes searched for something that could mean her role in all of this but the only answer she got was his shaky breathing and more steps into emptiness of large garden.

"I don't understand why are you telling me all of these informations. I'm merely allowed to study and walk freely in the daylight. I'm serving your brother and Mito-sama as a loyal servant not as their daughter" she tried to walk away but his hand clasped on her wrist making her unable to leave him.

"Be careful. You should know better that you are indebted"

Her brows furrowed and somehow realization crept upon her with cold prickles of autumn night.

"Yes, I'm aware of that" managing to bow she ran towards main house with uneasy feeling in her chest. What will become of her in this whole political mess?

* * *

Mito looked at her with sadness on her face two days later and Sakura inwardly stopped breathing. Have they always planned to use her as some kind of help in their political fighting? Or was she so blind that she couldn't see that what she thought was motherly love was only concern for Senju clan well being? Touching silky materials of greenish _yukata_ for the clans meeting she searched for lavender petals to pour some sweetly scent onto the robes.

"Have you slept well, my dear?" biting her lips she nodded to the red haired woman, clothing her in layers of grassy colour. The hair pins in Mito's hair touched her ears and as she took some tint for her lips the older woman rose her hand to signalize abrupt stop. "All of you, leave" the sound of footsteps of servants leaving and click of bamboo doors made her skin tingle. "You must know, Sakura that you were deeply loved by me and my husband. You were our miracle and you helped this village to prosper. I know that you never were treated as my true child or my sister, you became much more than I've ever hoped" the lady's hand occupied her cheek and with small smile she kissed her large forehead. "You must have known that your debt might be paid, mustn't you? Sakura, please look at me" she did and what she saw made her more vulnerable than she ever was. Mito was the strongest person she knew, she didn't see her cry or complain, every struggle and pain she bore as a true lady that she was. And now, now that perfect illusion crumbled and she looked into weary pair of eyes that plead her soul. She wanted to crawl back to her futon and never be able to see that despair in her life but kneeling before the idolized woman before her, Sakura simply wanted to be coward. The trembling of limbs seemed to be hers when she spotted her pale fingers attached to the kimono of lady. The gross taste of bitterness and something akin to betrayal took her by surprise and she stiffened in awkward bow.

"Understood" her whisper seemed to unlock emotions in Senju that she hadn't seen in her whole seventeen years old life. Turning back she was met with two women waiting for her as she was a prisoner. Her pink locks whirled when she snapped her neck in direction of her adoptive mother. The shoulders of Mito shook when she couldn't met her gaze.

Sakura did one thing she always was good at, she smiled and bowed accepting her fate.


	2. Chapter 1

**AN: Thank you for the feedback, hopefully some of your questions will be answered here. I must warn you that I intend to make this story a bit darker because of the setting in feudal era but do not be afraid. I want to stick to the canon characterization of main characters. Next update within two weeks. I do not own any of Naruto characters, only plot is mine.  
**

She could hear the murmurs when she was walking behind two older women that clothed her in a white kimono and pulled a veil that covered her face. Her hair was done in two small bows and under the light material they left cold feeling on her neck when she was looked at wooden floor under her feet. People didn't know who she was, or so she was trying to tell herself. That it was sudden decision, that it wasn't planned. The dirt of village ground made the hem of her attire dirty and with a strange feeling she wanted to laugh at her pathetic walk towards the main base. The sandals she wore were uncomfortable and the obi belt was too tight for her to breathe freely. Huge iron doors opened before them and she was met with voices that led towards the main hall. In the entrance she spotted green robes and she bit her cheek so hard that she tasted her own blood in mouth.

She was going to be sold, sold for the sake of one village - for the sake of political stability. Her hands shook when she was sited behind the figure of a man she used to think of as a father. To her left she was met with angry Tobirama who was glaring at her with fire in his troubled eyes. Looking at the guests she recognized Uzumaki clan with bright colours and vibrant red armours and hazily she recalled meeting one of the cousins of Mito that was standing arm in arm with the head of clan. The Hyuuga clan was situated in the front with their eyes either bandaged or simply cast down, they were known for their almost pearl sockets that were so fragile in hot, sunny days that they decided to protect them by using the coverage. Her shallow breathing only increased when she stared at few people from Uchiha clan - by far the smallest group of delegates here. With difficulty but slow remembrance she saw the soldier that she had met days ago. His hair was styled in the same way and next to him stood a boy with similar looks to the previous soldier with his arms crossed on his chest. The place of a head of the clan was empty but the oldest of the troupe was nearby it with determination on his face.

"Welcome my friends at this small but important gathering" she didn't want to be a part of that so she shyly dropped her gaze on her bent knees. Her fingers played with kimono while she was drifting between exchanges of ideas and salty remarks from each side. "What I must say is that I prepared solution to our problem but firstly I would be honoured to listen to your proposals" her chest heaved with emotions. She wouldn't be here without a reason, especially now when the clans started to fight again. The whiteness of her clothes made her think of her purpose and the fear started to creep upon her spine with soft taps of Hashirama pencil that made her dizzy. She didn't want to be coward but the image of her being sold to one of the clans as a servant or worse diplomat was making her head spinning, she didn't have any experience with politics. The matters of Senju were classified and she only knew the easiest layers to know. Her green eyes scanned the guests and she wondered if she was going to be Uzumaki's maid or Hyuuga interpreter. Her hair pins slowly drove into her scalp and she itched to throw them off and free her locks.

"I reckon that Uchiha clan didn't even bother to send their head of a clan to the meeting that was caused by them" she whipped her head towards accusing tone and waited for the response because she partially agreed with the speaker. The silence that followed was oddly pleasurable to her and she made her time to adjust to the form of the meeting.

"My brother isn't interested in frivolous discussions. Otsutsuki clan invaded our land and he is helping with the siege of theirs right now," she shivered listening to the Uchiha describing killing people as if it was a natural thing. He was rather young from where she could see, his baritone was reach and velvet but his face was stony and emotionless. She wished she won't be sold to them, the vision of black ocean almost suffocated her. There were screams at the previous remark and few shouts but her eyes were glued to the man she met last week. He was behaving stoically and his pensive aura was making her curious about him. She quickly repressed that thought and stole a glance in Tobirama direction. He was carefully listening to the opinions and when he felt her stare he looked at her with slight concern.

"Please be more respectful," kind words weren't wise here, she thought watching as Senju sentence was lost in the chaos of arguing.

" _Sakura,_ " she stiffened hearing her name next to her ear and before she could turn around she was stopped. "The meeting will be over soon, you will leave the village as well" her nails almost broke her skin but she sat with straightened spine. "If you are able to feel any positive emotion towards me I can tell you what we decided with my husband," she felt as she was sucked of all oxygen when she slowly nodded under the veil. "You won't be sold, my dear. You will guarantee the peace between Senju and" before she could finish there was a loud knock on the desk and she faced angry Hashirama who stood up and silenced whole gathering.

"If you are going to behave like that I am going to lay out Senju plan before us. The treaty is a concern of Uchiha, we all need another proof of the alliance between us and as a gift but also as a key between our clans I would like to propose marriage" her heart stopped for few seconds before the black spots started to dance in her vision. She needed to grip a hand that laid on her shoulder. "Only marriage can support two clans and unify them with glorious bond," the smile that graced lips of Senju leader awakened her gag reflex and she placed a hand on her abdomen as if she could prevent nervousness that rose in her stomach.

She wasn't going to be sold.

She was going to be _sacrificed._

* * *

Uzumaki and Hyuuga clans left and in the huge room stood Uchihas and Senju leader with her on his side. She didn't dare to look up to see faces of men standing in front of her, her kimono felt heavy and her hands shook underneath the sleeves of it. The motionless voices carried their conversations while she sulked in her depressive mood. She was so stupid, believing that she grew up surrounded by love while everything it was, was delusion of political assurance. Regret crept upon her face and she winced glad that her distraught face was covered by that damned material. How could she be so _naïve_? Her chest oozed with pain and betrayal when she looked at the Senju emblem at the back of her adoptive father, she almost laughed out loud when she stumbled upon word _"father"_. How anyone can betray his child like that?

"How can we know that she is not tainted?" one of the black haired clan asked and she glanced in his direction and was amused to found out that it was the same man who spoke on behalf of the head of the clan, the brother. Hashirama let out the visible sigh and with a lazy movement he revealed her face and she blinked few times adjusting her pupils to the light of the candles. All pairs of eyes looked at her as slowly bowed, relaxing her spine and bones that were ridged for the whole gathering. She stared at her sandals and white socks when someone's hand caught her chin and lifted it in a rough manner. Her green eyes widened at the closure of the other body. She stopped breathing while looking at the Uchiha with a frown.

"Is she able to carry children?" her lips parted as she wanted to protest at that unprofessional sentence but another hand pulled her towards its owner.

"Get lost, Izuna" she tensed hearing Tobirama voice so close to her but she hadn't been more grateful for him that he stepped up for her honour. "If she isn't in your liking you can leave" his skin was deadly white when his eyes turned red and she gasped in horror.

"Stop, both of you. I assure you Izuna-kun, that Sakura has been brought up with purity and adequate etiquette. Hopefully, your brother will be pleased to have her as his wife" Hashirama looked over all of the people with a sad smile. "Madara-kun is in need to have some of the feminine loveliness in his dull life"

She wanted to scream but before she could, the man named Izuna grabbed her forearm and she almost tripped over her kimono. He smelled like forest and auburn wood but his strength was nothing with which she was familiar. The veil was dropped over her face once again and before she could even bid her goodbye she was pushed towards the gate by few pairs of arms. She didn't want to behave as a small girl but seeing the opening door and the road ahead of her she started to trash, trying to see her father figure she screamed.

"Please, please! Take me back!" her pleas were met with a stone faced Hashirama and the image of turned back of Tobirama. She knew that she didn't have home there any more.

* * *

The road was a torture for her, thrown onto high horse with a soldier keeping her from falling, her tights almost tore from the material movements. The sight of moving trees and sunrise made her realize that she no longer will have the place to live. She didn't believe the Uchiha friendliness. She didn't even hear about it in her whole life, all she knew about them that they were the deadliest soldiers and that their elemental was fire. She wiggled and in one second her back was slapped by the man behind her.

"Stop moving, child" his remark made slow reaction on her. Did they think that she was a child? Her fingers hammered into his thighs and he halted the horse throwing her from the mount with a vulgarly shouted words. "Eat dirt!" she touched her ribcage with glossy eyes that watered from the impact of the fall. The pain was bearable but her wrist was surely twisted. With carefulness she brought it to her chest, cradling it as it was something precious. She hasn't been hurt in her all life and the blinding feeling of something out of the order in her bones made her stomach upset. Turning around she quickly pulled off the veil and gagged on the ground.

"Obito, she was expected to return intact" calm voice sounded behind her when she ended emptying her stomach. "Do you want water?" she glanced over her hunched shoulder and she saw the same man that helped her with papers back in the village. Not trusting her voice she nodded and he handed her the sack, wincing when she received it. "Are you hurt?" he crouched next to her and she inwardly leaned back.

"Yes," her short answer didn't break his polite mask of utter nothingness. He looked over her body spotting her starting to swell hand. He indented to touch her and she protectively ran towards the tree. "Don't come!" voicing her condition she was surprised seeing his arms in defended sign as he slowly made his way to her person.

"Your bones might have cracked. I need to look at it, our head would not be pleased if you arrive wounded" his eyes searched for her acceptance and when she accidentally brushed her wrist on her side and gasped she shyly nodded at him. He hold her limb as she looked up to the crown of the tree they were standing under.

"What's your name?" she was surprised that it was her that voiced that question. Sakura warily illustrated black haired man that examined her hand, he was gentle but when he pressed one place on her hurting area she tried to escape from his grip.

"Itachi. That's my name," his lips curled when she sighed at his slow response. He knelt and searched through his cotton bag while she stood in awkward position looking at his pony tail and other riders behind them. When he returned he was holding beige bandage and probably jar of some kind of ointment. Sticking two fingers in the substance he traced it slowly on her wounded skin. She wrinkled her nose and before she could stop her reflex she sneezed making her eyes watered again.

"What it is?" his brows furrowed and as he bandaged her ailing hand he looked straight into her eyeballs.

"My mother's recipe" finishing his work he started to turn but he stopped before walking away. "If I were you, I wouldn't argue with anyone. You won't be treated with honours" nodding he left her alone with one arm glued to her chest. The white kimono contrasted with deep green of forest behind her as she was fighting with the urge of crying.

She will not be _broken_.

* * *

The raider that took her was different and she recognized him as the brother of the head of clan. His short hair and blank face gave her cold image of the whole family. In favour of her legs he allowed her to ride in a lady manner, holding her as if he tried to prevent her from falling. Deep down she was affected because she was still a dainty, young girl in the close proximity with a boy, no man. Her frown vanished as soon as the horse stopped and she was met with the sight of wooden bridge over hills and clouds that almost touched crowns of trees.

"We will walk from now on," he jumped and offered her his hand not even looking in her direction, she touched his skin with her cold palm and slowly made her way down. The air was so fresh that it nearly hurt her lungs, if she wasn't going to be caged she could think of it as if it was the sign of freedom. They started their march on the fragile looking overpass, deciding not to look down she was met with a feeling of utter despair being not able to balance on her ceremonial sandals. Her steps were painfully slow but she progressed with her chin held up. With soft trip her shoe fell from her foot and left her barefooted. There were only three meters to pass so she bravely ended her route with a graceful mannerism but the tremble in her limbs didn't leave when she could feel the hard ground. She was met with spiky gates of Uchiha village and before she could admire its structure two hands gripped her arms and she was pulled by them as if she was on leash.

"Let me go! I can walk by myself" she barked when one of the walking Uchihas made another remark of her lithe form.

"It's a merely precaution" the response was terse and fake but she didn't let it affect her. The sounds of town met her eardrums and she stared at blackness of villagers that she was passing by. They were throwing her suspicious looks and whispered between each other behind her back. The tents and small looking homes were nothing in comparison of still growing Senju district, she wondered if the reality of Uchiha clan was so different than others or only she saw it that way. The huge mansion that greeted her vision was emboldened with crests and flags, leaving impression of almost admirable main residence in the camp. The guards that stood in front of the bamboo doors nodded seeing Izuna behind her and opened them for their arrival. She felt the fear creeping upon her bare neck and tangling in her chest when she entered darkish interior with a feeling of prison. The smell of wine and fire made her senses explode, the irritating scent of cinnamon lingering somewhere itched her nose. In front of her were stairs and behind them was a terrace she could see from her position, on her left was a huge meeting room and before she could interpret right side she felt as all of her body was covered in goosebumps.

"They couldn't afford her shoes that she's standing here barefooted?" she almost got a whiplash from snapping her neck towards the roughish voice coming from her right. Holding his gaze she looked into eyes of her future husband clad in armour covered in blood.


	3. Chapter 2

**AN:** Sorry for the delay of this chapter but I was really busy and I hadn't had good internet connection to publish it. **Warnings:** nudity and gynaecological procedure. Thank you for your feedback, I've never expected so much positivity for my story. I do not own Naruto nor any recognizable characters, only plot is mine.

* * *

She oddly remembered the time when she accidentally killed a bird when she was six years old. It was rather disturbing to watch as the animal slowly made its way into her trap made of few bamboos. The sun blinded her and before she could jump towards her victorious pigeon she tripped over small rock and crushed the tiny living being. She felt unbelievably dirty and shocked that it was her that took its life. She quickly ran through the gardens as she left it behind her as fast as she could.

That's how she was feeling right now, however in this particular situation she was the bird and her killer stood few meters away. The slow sound of dripping blood prickled her nose when she assertively held her gaze locked with his own. The eyes of Uchiha were endlessly black, as if she saw a black hole of utter unhappiness. Lines of his face showed his age but also his strict posture and killer reflex, her tiny hands shook when she became aware how tall and big he was in comparison to her lithe frame and pale colours. His long, ebony hair looked shiny and silky from afar - she gulped while spotting his fingers that started to remove his armour. It was rather surprising that his digits were very slim and elegant. His stare didn't leave her person when he threw his warrior clothing and walked towards her as if she was his prey.

"How old are you?" the roughness of his baritone vibrated in her mind before she could muster a courage to speak up.

"Seventeen" his beautiful hand caught her chin and he examined her face from different angles and with theatrical manner he pushed her. Her legs fumbled over a hem of her kimono and didn't support her as she landed on her back with a soft thud. Inhaling the musky scent of her future husband Sakura curled her knees and leaned back not wanting his presence near her. The whole mansion impersonated Madara Uchiha, it was dark and brooding with accents of red vases and crimson carpets. Her shoulder blade hit a wall while she was facing him with an uneasy knot in her lower stomach, his predatory stance and cold aura made her throat clench painfully. Was it truly her husband to be?

"Take her to bath," he turned around and gathered few of accompanying her soldiers. "I will contact the healer" vanishing from her view she was greeted by nameless faces of two female servants that pulled her up with force and pushed her towards stairs. They didn't bother to tell her where she was supposed to walk and each time she turned wrong, strong slap on her spine echoed in the empty corridor. Cradling her twisted hand to her chest she was looking at passing doors and burgundy décor in the interiors. Sound of sliding bamboo machine woke her from her musings as she arrived in something similar to a bathing room, the wooden sink stood in the centre of it with white materials hanging from the ceiling. Candles were burning due to the lack of windows and their cinnamon aroma made her head spinning. She peeked over her shoulder to see what the other women were doing when her obi belt was stripped.

"What are you doing?" her voice trembled at its ends when someone held her still while older servant was undressing her. Heat slapped her cheeks and she looked widely at black eyed girl who silenced her by using strength. Her pale skin covered goose bump as her arms looked utterly out of place at the background of darkness surrounding her. Shaking on her whole body she softly entered bathtub with closed eyes and a nasty hand print on her cheek. Something wet attached to her thigh and she looked at her leg with suspicion. Sakura wanted to laugh when she spotted rose petals in the water in which she was sitting. Taking one of them she examined its structure and threw it away with a blank face.

She wasn't going to break.

She won't.

She will never bend.

Right?

* * *

Her eyes widened when neither one of maidens did not hand her kimono but a see through yukata with white orchids. Before she could argue with their choice her back was slapped again as she was walked towards bamboo doors. Drops of water slipped from her wet hair that was glued to her neck. It prickled her nerves. The interior was not different from others, the only thing that was odd was the double sized futon at the centre of it. She quickly ran to the corner which was darkish to cover her nakedness. The wet sensation of her skin and fabric molten into one made her very upset; did they treat every women here like that? Sound of sliding door crept onto her person with a sick feeling. Trembling and taking her ailed hand to her chest she waited for the intruder to show himself.

"Leave," she could see the servants vanishing in the other end and seeing through her pink strands his predatory stance she curled herself even more. "I will not be playing with you" his heavy steps echoed in her mind. She didn't even have a chance to prepare herself to be thrown onto floor with a soft thud. Her heartbeat was so loud that she was sure that he could hear it too, nevertheless he was not bothered by that. "The healer is going to examine your hand and your body," he drawled crouching next to her. She held the collar of her nightgown to not let it slip of her skinny shoulders. Her green eyes took his presence in as she caught herself nodding. "Did they not feed you?" she felt his ghostly touch on her cheek and the softness quickly changed into force, caging her chin and making her look at him. Black orbs were intense when she tried to release his hold with her bony fingers.

"Please, you are hurting me" managing hoarse whisper she dropped her stare at her knees. His breath was so close to her lips that she inwardly leaned back and yelped when she put too much strength onto her twisted wrist. His fingers stopped at her opened mouth and he slowly eased his grip on her face. The coldness of being wet made her form seem as if she was nothing but a ghostly spectre. "Thank you," she searched for something, anything in his eyes but there was nothing - nothing but utter unhappiness. Her frown deepened when he towered once again over her and watched her as a hawk watches his prey.

"The doctor will examine you" his long steps halted when she jumped on her feet and caught his knee with shaken hands. She looked like a beggar not a future wife of the Uchiha head.

"Please, I'm intact. Spare me humiliation, I'm begging you," the man only shrugged his shoulders and with a nonchalant expression pushed her back on the floor. It was worse than killing innocent bird, she desperately thought. Her green eyes hidden from his gaze started to water and the non existence sound of her cry never reached his person.

"That's everything, isn't it? Behave" he left with a note of underlying irony while Sakura curled herself into fetal position in that empty, hollow interior.

* * *

It was hours later when the sound of sliding door made her head snap. In the front of the shoju screen stood sickly looking man with glasses on his nose. She took in his appearance but before she could say something, someone gripped her hands and she was laid on her back, vision glued to the wooden ceiling. Her neck turned right spotting the pair of red eyes staring at her with soft expression.

" _Oh_ , Izuna you need to help me with her legs. I believe that Itachi will manage with his hold," her ankles were separated and she yelped when a bare skin touched her inner thighs. The burning sensation of embarrassment splashed her cheeks and mind with double force. She trashed her arms but the long haired Uchiha kept her steady as she screamed until her throat gave up. "Feisty that one" she could sense goosebumps on her legs when the material of yukata was lifted to her hips. Leaving her most intimate part naked to all men in the room. The spinning in her head made her nauseous and she started to fight with the overwhelming gag reflex.

"She's natural," the voice of Madara's brother echoed in her ears when she anew her cry for help but it was quickly silenced by the piercing look of capturer of her upper limbs. "Get it done quickly, she will be my sister in law" her tears leaked once again and made their way towards her breasts leaving salty paths on her skin. The way they treated her, touched her was nothing but a shameless act. Her naïve heart wept when a foreign sensation exploded in her neither regions. The pain was nothing in comparison with the mortification she felt.

"She's intact," when the pressing finger vanished from her channel and she was free from all of the hands on her body she curled herself on the floor, not minding people staring at her. Her bones almost cracked when she punched wooden floor with anguish. How someone like them could become her family? How can a future wife be treated this way?

"Let her be alone," a honey like voice surrounded everyone and she shyly peeked over her hunched shoulder. Beautiful, black haired lady stood in front of everyone. She held food on a brownish plate and her heart shaped face was graced in a endearing smile. "Off you go" her tone was stern yet she looked oddly lovable. It was something new to Sakura. When males started to leave, the long haired one only nodded at the woman and closed the door with a soft click. "My name is Mikoto, I will be attending you as your servant. However, my husband is a cousin of your husband to be. That means that I'm not lower than you" she knelt beside younger girl and looked at her big, green eyes with a frown. "You must be terrified dear, mustn't you?" her gaze lowered to her legs and when she spotted there something she quickly opened jar with the ointment.

"Why would he do that?" grasping a hem of her yukata Sakura stared at black eyed companion.

"He is your superior, you must oblige to his decisions. Every women has to go through examination, especially one that is not from our clan" her hands were cold when she applied the salve on her ankles.

"His brother has seen me," she could feel a hot sensation of disgust in her voice and also on her cheeks. "And the one that has brought me here, how can I look at them now?"

They were silent for few minutes and when Mikoto sighed as she decided to look at her properly.

"How old are you, child?" the motherly note made her inwardly tremble.

"Seventeen"

"Ah, you and my Sasuke are the same age. It's a pity that the circumstances haven't been better, maybe both of you could be friends. He needs one, for sure" she stopped and bit her lip as if she was thinking about something that she was not supposed to tell. "The other one, the one that brought you here is my second child, Itachi."

"He was kind to me," her whisper was uttered as a soft breath.

"Yes, he is a kind person" the bandages around her wrist were replaced by the new ones that smelled like mint. "I have beautiful children. Too bad that they both are males, I've always dreamed about daughter" she searched for something in her eyes before she started to braid her long hair.

"What about Madara?" her breath itched younger's neck when she manoeuvred around her head. "Is he compassionate?"

She was met with silence again and when she thought that there won't be any soft response hung in the air.

 _"He is a monster."_

* * *

The shadows of trees made her unable to sleep. She was staring at the leaves caressed by wind while laying on the white futon. She was always lonely but now, in this moment she felt utterly miserable. Miserable because of her situation, the forced marriage with a man she hardly knew. The surrounding her ocean of blackness made her suffocate. Wherever she looked there was a darkness and silence; silence that pierced through her young and shattering heart. Gripping the fabric of her night dress she closed her eyes remembering green fields of her previous home.

She was a ghost, living in the interior without any human contact for at least two days. Mikoto left her with sickening belief about her future husband. Was he truly so evil? Her chest oozed with pain when she thought about it; almost ripping her ribcage with a force of it.

Throwing the blanket away she shakily stood with no purpose. Her hands shook when she opened window and cold breeze hit her face. There was a starry sky and it took her breath away. She missed stars so much; always imagining about their grace and light, never able to look at them properly. They were shining and looked like lanterns hanged up in the sky. Her hair freed from her braid and she tucked it behind her ears so she could stare at the magnificent view. She glanced down and seeing some kind of roof she decided to move forward to achieve better results in her stargazing. Her bare feet touched the rough material of the crown of house as she put more pressure in her toes to test the endurance.

Letting go of the window sill was ironically easy and when she did that and lifted her head up she let out audible sigh of adoration.

Sky was almost falling at her, its weight dropping at her shoulders made her light-headed. Sounds of birds and leaves surrounded her with their beauty that perfectly fitted this scenery. Her grip on window frame eased when she tried to see if she would be able to go higher. White yukata contrasted with her pink tresses loosely hanging at her back. Looking for something to hold onto she spotted small bulge and aimed for it, missing it for the very first time. Biting her lips she slightly jumped on the roof to grab it but failed again. She frowned and with her healthy hand she reached for it while tip toeing on the rough surface. Her fingers grazed it and when she leaned towards it, her feet drove down and before she could catch the balance her body detached from window sill. Her vision blurred before she realized that she was falling down. Sudden sharp tug on her forearm made her head hit the rooftop with a slight force. She was easily pulled up.

"Do you want to die?" vicious spat from the men echoed through the night. She blinked and when she found his eyes - she met blood.


	4. Chapter 3

**AN:** Hello, this is the longest chapter I've ever posted for this story! Buckle up! For starters, I've put my ideas of ceremonies that happened in that time matching them with Naruto's universe. Also, the story is M rated - this chapter contains smut. You've been warned. Thank you for your reviews, it always bring me happiness to read them and inspiration for further chapters. I do not own Naruto characters. I will try to answer some of your questions down below.

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Her first thought was to run away, however firm grip on her forearm crushed her dreams about escaping. Silence that echoed around them began to feel unbearable ad thick as she blinked angry tears from her eyes. He was intimidating even without his armour and blood dripping from his digits. The image of a lovely marriage vanished in front of her when her future husband let go of her as if she had burned him. Stumbling over own legs, she quickly regained her composure and courage. If he wanted her to fear him, she would but not without a fight. Sakura's hair formed beautiful halo around her face when she rose her chin up. The moon shone behind her, lighting her person as if she was a goddess that bathed in the pure starlight. Maybe it was her pride or foolishness, but she could swear that she saw him taking her appearance in. His nostrils relaxed and tense muscles flexed while his mask of coldness wavered for a tiny second. When his eyes lost red gleam in them she heard herself gasp - it wasn't something she could control nor was it deliberate. If she surprised him by her reaction, he didn't show any sign of realization. Both of them stared at each other with mute accusations. She curled her hands into small fists making one step towards his looming form.

"You left me here alone, without any human interaction for days" her voice was raw and it pained her that she sounded so fragile and wounded. Another step. "I may not be a perfect picture but I'm a living being. I breathe, I eat. Yet you treat me like an animal," she whispered harshly feeling completely helpless by his tranquillity. "Sitting here alone I wished to die!" her feet halted when she came nose to nose with Madara's body. She could hear his breathing and feel his scent - so different than the one of bloodbath and mud. He smelled like a burning wood and fresh grass. Sakura's forehead wrinkled at the thought of him being so still and unmoving. Even after her outburst he remained unbothered. Only rising of his chest ensured her of his presence. Her pink tresses twirled around her when she tried to walk past him. She was stopped. His long fingers clasped around her wrist with subtle force. Her heart leapt in her chest at the close proximity but also from a sudden fright. Did she cross a line? White yukata clung to her lithe bones when she spun and faced him with small frown. _There was still a starry sky_ , she mused looking directly through the window.

"It was merely precaution," his baritone rang in her ears for a while before her emerald eyes decided to glance at him. "You are a stranger invading my mansion, my people and my life" he growled as his irises dangerously shook in the darkness.

"Am I? Then who are you to me, then?" her question erupted at the back of her throat when she fought with her inner turmoil. He clipped his tongue and stared at the moon with wrinkles on his ageing features. He did look young, however the fatigue, small scars and lines on his skin showed his true age. Madara didn't seem to be a gentle soul or sympathetic one, nevertheless as his eyes scanned moonlight with blank face - she thought that he looked really lonely. Angry at her own musings, she quickly repressed unwanted images from her troubled mind. It didn't matter.

"You should start to respect me. My patience is slowly disappearing," his digits grazed her skin with strange spark that travelled down her spine. "Learn to obey me, then you won't be trapped here forever" last word was followed by the haunting laugh from his lips. She shivered but kept her emotions at bay when he freed her from his hold. Her knees hit each other as she padded towards the window silk with rapidly beating heart. She was trapped. Wincing and trying not to sob out loud she looked at the night sky with serene expression. He was still there, she could feel his gaze at the back of her neck. After all she was his prisoner and even if her prison was a house with people in it - she felt utterly abandoned. Sighing she propped chin on her elbow watching as clouds started to gather and fight for the dominance with moon. Even if her cell was made of glass and her bones would crack, she would never submit to him.

"Tomorrow wear your hair down" he left leaving her in a state of despair and melancholy.

* * *

She dreamt about green fields and yellow flowers in her hair as she ran from the meadow with mirthless laughter on her rosy lips. The birds were flying up in the sky and trees sang their song when she touched their barks. Her arm shot up and draw non existent shapes in the air as her head lulled against grass. Something crawled on her leg and she glanced at her skin with sudden dizziness. Purple snake stared at her with his greenish eyes and before she could jump it attacked her with soft swizz. She didn't have a time to scream as someone's hands patted her sweaty shoulders. When she opened her eyes she saw familiar ceiling and worried black orbs. Huffing and escaping from drenched blanket she sat up with heaviness in her body. The dream felt so real, she could remember scent of flowers and irritating sunlight on her nose. Combing her hair with her fingers Sakura tried to repress her fidgeting. The older woman didn't say anything as she worked on ordering maids to prepare a bath. Standing and relaxing her tense muscles she saw her wedding kimono hanging on wardrobe doors with sandals standing next to it. She didn't think twice when she launched at it, throwing it off and trying to tear it apart. The rage building up in her throat automatically gave in and she screamed burying her face in white materials. She was so weak, crying and hiding from the Uchiha matriarch. Memories from her Senju life materialized in her mind as the sobs wrecked her body. How could they do such thing to her? Even if she couldn't be their daughter, they gave her life and name only to use her as a political ploy. She wanted to hate them, she could feel that burning sensation of hatred but in the end she couldn't bring herself to do it. When she thought about Mito, she visualized her own mother. Her hysteria slowly faded as her breathing slowed down and became more reasonable. There were footsteps and soft thud of knees hitting floor.

"Was that everything? There, _there_ " kind voice of Mikoto vibrated in her ears as her hands massaged circles on her hunched back. "Let it all out before the ceremony" she whispered holding her like a mother would. "Later you would not have a chance to do so," her words rang in her mind when she peeked over to see her endearing expression. Sakura's eyes searched for something in the eyes of older woman but there wasn't anything she already didn't know.

"I do not love him," her tongue hit her alveolar ridge while she was adjusting her position. "I'm barely someone here, like a ghost" the moment she said those words she recalled how she was no different back in the Senju camp. Fate indeed was cruel.

"Oh, dear. Love is an emotion that shinobi acquires," she purred stroking her curls. "Uchihas value love, they did extraordinary things in the name of it. Myths, legends, some of them even written down to remember that love is as blessing as tragedy. Many of them are incapable of loving, however that's in their blood. Sooner or later they will awake their primal emotion," her smile followed her breathless laughter. "My husband was the same. I didn't say anyone how hard I cried when my parents chose Fukagu as my spouse. Not only he was cold and distant but I strongly believed he hated me just because I was something that invaded his personal space. How wrong I was," Mikoto stopped watching her reaction to her words. _She was beautiful storyteller_ , she thought when her eyes gleamed with anticipation. "Sometimes it happens other way around, it's from the hate that love comes from. I think all of Uchiha men are the same. There's that hard and high wall you need to break to get access to their love. My children though, I'm most afraid that they won't have a chance to experience that" her black eyes shone with what Sakura thought were unwanted tears. "There you are, go wash yourself. I will prepare kimono and your hair" she added regaining her cold composure. She halted for a second and patted her shoulders with a sweet sigh.

"He told me to have my hair down," she whispered suddenly aware of the fact that her future husband addressed the wedding. "Last night when he caught me stargazing," her fingers played with a hem of her sleeping dress. Mikoto stared at her and her tresses for a while.

"Yes, I can see why" her mysterious statement hung in the air when younger women gathered herself and vanished in the bath room.

* * *

She couldn't say who was staring at her in the reflection. Perhaps, it was different person. Pink curls created an ethereal halo around her face and hung loosely at her back. Some part of them was neatly pinned by the white hairpin with pearls at the end of it. Her white kimono contrasted with her emerald eyes that stared at her in the mirror. They were big and glossy but somewhere deep in them she saw little, gullible girl. Long sleeves of her ceremonial clothing covered her bony wrists and trembling hands, for which she was glad. Her lips had some red tint on it that mashed with almost white skin of her face - Mikoto put incredible amount of bamboo powder on her nose and cheeks ensuring that she looked like a doll and not a woman. Her brows were smudged with black coal to add her more sharpness and colour. Maybe if she wasn't marrying killer and great warrior she would be happy with her look. But standing there and looking at herself minutes before confrontation with a bloody murderer, she wished it was only a dream. The ocean of blackness surrounded her as few servants and maids started to prepare futons for the bedding ceremony. And there was she, utterly out of place - looking more like a some kind of mystical creature than a bride. She gulped when no one paid her any attention.

"I'm completely alone," she whispered to no one watching herself in the reflection. Saying it out loud didn't hurt as much as she thought it would. Seeing sun through the windows she smiled feeling warmth on her forehead. Closing her eyes and staying still for a few minutes, she absorbed sunlight like a flower. It wasn't fairytale or legend where some invisible force would rescue her. Bringing her hands to her chest in a silent prayer she prayed for a ray of happiness, no matter how small it would be.

"It's time," her head snapped at the voice as she knew it very well. Next to the bamboo doors stood Itachi in his formal clothing with his hair freed from a pony tail. He looked phenomenal with his long eyelashes that she could see even from a far. She inwardly nodded and slipped her feet into high and uncomfortable sandals. Her steps were soft even if her toes curled to hold shoes at their place. Before closing shoju screen she glanced over her shoulder to see the sun once again. Her sigh must have been heard by him because he shot her startled look.

"It's very dark in here," she commented fixing her belt. "I feel really overwhelmed without light" her lips formed soft pout as his arm arrived in her peripheral vision. "Thank you," taking his guidance they anew their way through the mansion. She could hear gong that echoed throughout the building and shook her to the bone. Halting she desperately fought for air that left her when she saw huge entrance with Uchiha crest upon it.

"You look radiating," his words were sincere and as she blinked her tears away she squeezed his elbow for support. "And you are not alone," before she could answer him or say anything he bowed and disappeared in the shrine.

Her hand flexed on thin air and hanged there for a moment. She heard rustling next to her and saw Izuna with a bowl of rose oil. Her nose wrinkled at the smell of cinnamon spice lingering on his clothing. He greeted her with emptiness on his face and held his palm open for her to touch it. She did so, slowly stepping out of her sandals. His presence irritated her and embarrassed her, thinking about the feral examination. Dipping her slender fingers in the liquid she inhaled its scent reminiscing how beautiful tea roses were in the gardens behind Senju compound. It wasn't as sticky as she expected it to be as she pressed her fingertip over her lips, wetting her mounds with oil. It was sweet. Izuna gave the vessel to one of the elders and signalled her way with a tilt of his head. The gates of hall were hauntingly gorgeous when she passed through them with her chin held high. Even if she had closed her eyes, she would see the same thing. _Ocean of blackness._ Everyone who turned to see her was like a claque of the person standing next to them. Her eyes scanned the crowd with uneasiness and fear. At the end of rough marble road stood her future husband. He was dressed in night blue kimono with his family emblem at the back. His long hair was softly caressing his spine as he stared at her with unreadable expression. She went around the wooden table and stood in front of him with shivering hands. The monk gestured her to move closer so she slowly arrived next to the Uchiha. Even if the ceremony proceeded she remained in her own world, remembering fields of poppies and taste of crystal water dripping from river stones. Her life played before her eyes when elderly man put his bony digits on their joined hands and murmured incantation. She saw Madara's mouth moving but she couldn't hear his words due to the high pitched noise in her eardrums. After couple of seconds she followed with her oath that escaped her lips quicker than she expected it to happen. What stood out the most for her, was the complete silence. Everyone was morbidly watching their union and she swore that her heart could be heard in the corridor.

"Brew the tea and wash your skin to become one," she spotted maids putting small teacups on the table and two jugs of water. Monk made them kneel in front of the teapot and draped burgundy cloak on their shoulders. Madara was the first one to drink his portion and she followed him with fluid movement. The tea was bitter and lingered on her tongue when he held the basin for her. Looking into his eyes to see if there was any emotion she recoiled when she saw red gleam. His eyes spun and more of the black spots danced on his bloody orbs. Her fingers shook when she plunged them into cold liquid. She could see the oil washing off of her skin and floating with yellow shimmer. Her turn was quick and painless as he did it without any hesitation. Leaving the bowl on the table she waited for the last part of wedding ceremony. Elders took the material that lingered on their shoulders and ordered them to bow three times for the spiritual guidance in their marriage. Her kimono stretched as she moved in mechanical way. Her locks touched the ground each time and she thanked that it didn't come in her way.

"For her, he is" monk gave her silver ring that she had to put on Madara's finger. Her hand closed around the small thing with strange emotion in her chest. When she opened it again and stole a glance in the direction of her spouse, she decided to do it as fast as she could. Not looking at the crowd she took his slender digit and slowly marked it with that tiny band.

"For him, she is" her lips parted when she exhaled as she felt his touch. He didn't have rough skin as she thought he would. For all, he wore swords and battled with enemies. Madara's action was instant and not prolonged as hers. She dared to look at her palm with worry written all over her face. That was it. She was caged for forever.

"Let the last barrier crumble," elders and everyone bowed while she looked petrified at his lips. Oil was still there. He leaned on his arm and she felt his scent sheltering her like an armour. Before he kissed her he stopped centimetres from her mouth, staring at her with his crimson eyes. She had never been so close to the male, so when he angled his neck and his hot breath ghosted on her face she closed her eyelids. With one kiss her fate was signed. As his lips touched hers she felt that electric alert in her bones and inwardly backed away. His other hand shot up and didn't let her weaver from him. _His mouth was soft and hungry_ , she thought. She could feel his tongue trying to break her resistance. When he stopped she quickly looked at her knelled legs and wrinkled kimono. Silence was broken by loud clapping. She wasn't herself any more.

* * *

The feast was tiring her and she was scared to admit it out loud. The crowd left and only few of relatives sat around the table with golden plates and sake in huge goblets. She saw Mikoto and her husband with no Itachi around, however the boy who sat next to his father looked like a younger son. She remembered he was her age and she longed to know him. Izuna was placed next to his brother and on her left there was that rude solider who broke her wrist. Madara hadn't said anything to her as he poured grape wine into his cup. Sakura's hands played with her kimono under the table when she looked at each person with miserable expression. Mikoto was too far away to engage her in conversation so her mute persona thought about sun that had to be shining outside. Obito tried to make her drink sake but she quickly stopped his movements and told him not to bother himself. In fact, she was terrified. She was the bird in the predator's cave and if she stumbled, she would lose her life.

"Let me make a toast! Drink for the newly wed couple," Izuna's voice and command was greeted with fervour and cheering so she pretended to drink her non existent alcohol. Everything, just to not grab any attention to herself. In her peripheral vision she saw Madara's arm taking bottle of cherry wine and moving it towards her goblet.

"I don't want to," she struggled to keep her tone neutral but quick flare of Uchiha's nostrils told her that she failed. "That's enough, thank you" stopping his pouring she nodded at his questioning look. He didn't grace her with another engagement till his brother again broke the silence.

"Sakura," her shoulders dug deeper in her body as she slowly gazed in his direction. "Your turn" he flicked his cup and she frowned looking at hers. Grabbing said item she scanned the table with a pit in her stomach. She could feel her husband's eyes on her because she took too much time to think about the toast.

"To every fleeting dream we've ever had" maybe she was too soft or her choice of wish was too childish because everyone stared at each other before emptying their cups. She quickly drank her wine with a tinge of disgust at the back of her head. After all she wasn't a child nor she was a woman. She was in between.

"What was yours, then?" she looked at Obito with irritation. She heard every neck stretching just to hear her answer. Sakura sighed and stared at the mahogany entrance with sudden weight on her shoulder blades.

"To be free and never be owned," her answer echoed in her mind when she hungrily gulped on her drink. She didn't even feel painful grip on her thigh.

* * *

There was a full moon again. Servants left her when they dressed her in bedding yukata with cherry blossom flowers on it. _What an irony_ , she huffed. Peeking over her shoulder she saw two futons next to each other and rice surrounding it from every direction. Pursuing her lips and facing starry sky she embraced herself with miserable sound. She wished for a motherly hug - that was something she always dreamt of and now she would never experience it. Wind caressed her face and played with her tresses when she inhaled night scent. She didn't feel when one of the sleeves rolled from her bony arm and left her skin exposed. Sakura's mind was fighting never-ending battle with past and present while her eyes took in the landscape in front of her. _Troubled minds never sleep_ , she remembered Mito saying these words whenever she fought with insomnia. Creak of shoju screen alerted her body. Turning around she saw him at the other side of the room. He was looking at her not like a husband but like a hawk. She could see his jaw clenching and popping as the sound of cracking bones echoed through the entire interior.

"You embarrassed me today," his accusation contained every negative emotion she could call and for a moment she was proud that she made him mad. She quickly regretted that as he strode towards her with killer mask on his features. "And for that, you will pay" his movement was so fast that she couldn't comprehend when exactly he moved. He grabbed her waist and harshly pulled her obi belt wanting to strip her. She trashed in his hold, screaming and trying to graze his skin with her nails but his strength and height outnumbered her chances. His eyes were motionless and bottomless as she wiggled when he tore the belt in half.

"Stop! Please!" she wanted to be angry with herself for begging but the fear crept upon her with nauseating effect. Madara took her in his arms and without a notice threw her on the white futon. She had to blink few times because of spluttering rice. Her hands shot and tried to hold him from her body but he quickly slapped them away and tugged on her yukata. There was sudden silence. Sakura's breathing and his own mixed into one. He halted when he saw her exposed body laying under him and she squirmed from unwanted nakedness. Her milky skin melted with bright sheets and before she could say anything his palm touched her abdomen. She yelped but didn't move when his fingertips drew abstract figures on her stomach. _It wasn't rough_ , she desperately thought. As if he heard her, his hips angrily rolled onto her and she winced. "Please, please" her voice snapped his trance and he looked at her with rage in his spinning orbs. "I know you can, please. Please, _be gentle_ " pleading him with her tears in the corners of her eyes she imagined she saw his lines softening. She dared to be bold and with one rapid heartbeat she kissed his lips. It was short and floppy but he inhaled her scent like an animal and his fingers massaged her waist. When her head dropped on the futon he scanned her face before taking her mouth in his once again. This time, however she could feel his hot tongue coming into the contact with her own. She didn't know what to do but he quickly manoeuvred both of them and she followed his lead. Her small sigh when he let go of her lips echoed in the room before she could stop herself. He kissed her one more time, and once again and over and over again that she lost the count after fifth one. She didn't know what was happening with her but her trembling hands found their way to his shoulder blades and she ran them up and down when his lips kissed her neck. He smelled like a fireplace and tasted like a honey and grapes. Her vision clouded when his fingers travelled towards her breasts and started to play with her nipples. Sakura's legs itched and without a thought she embraced his hips with them feeling strange hardness pressing on her core. She wanted not to think about anything else and let herself be gone in the moment. Madara's mouth closed around her nipple and for the very first time she heard herself moan. Heat slapped her cheeks and one of her hands covered her lips.

"Don't," his spat stopped her movement and slowly her palm returned to his back. She felt so small against his big form when he hovered above her. His skin was sticky and she felt hers starting to get wet as well when his digits caressed her creamy thighs with slow pattern. Her pink hair mashed with his dark curls as she leaned to peck his forehead. She didn't see him looking at her lower regions but as his palm closed around her hip she openly stared at him. He didn't look up, busy watching her feminine place. She wanted to close her legs but he was too strong. "Let me," he murmured when his fingertip touched small bud. Her eyes rolled back and she let out wanton sound. His mouth returned to hers as he rubbed her down there. She moaned straight in his face and for the first time she heard him growling with need. Her toes curled when something started to build in her abdomen.

"I don't know _wh-_ " she stopped mid air when he put more pressure on his fingers and her muscles painfully clenched. The sensation that hit her was nothing she's ever experienced. White fog corrupted her mind as she relaxed her legs again. Her shallow breathing and soft sighs returned as he slowly rolled his hips against hers. Madara's hand vanished between them and she heard him trying to free himself from kimono. With lust on her breath she started to strip his chest from blue material. It was seconds later when he was fully naked and she gasped when he anew his pelvic movement. This time she felt something hot and soft against her thigh and tried to reach for it. When she touched him, his breath shuddered next to her ear. It was hard and long when she slowly tried to make some moves with it in her palm.

"Stop," he warned her nipping her earlobe. Sakura found his eyes and shivered when she saw the same crimson stare like the one from their wedding ceremony. Breathing through her nose she saw him moving between their bodies. When she felt something trying to make its way into her channel her instinct wanted her to move away.

"Gentle, please" she said against his collarbone when the stretching became almost unbearable. It was seconds later when she felt him completely inside her. Her tears streamed down her cheeks without her knowledge as she sucked on his skin to ease the pain. He didn't let her time to accustom and moved with slight speed. At first the fraction was unpleasant and she wanted him gone, however when his hands angled her hips in higher direction she lost track of her thoughts. He hit that one place and whenever he did that her mind crumbled. His movements quickened and she heard herself moaning and sighing over and over again. There was a moment when she thought that she would not survive but it vanished when he stilled and spilled himself inside her. Her eyes shined in the darkness and with a wrinkle on her forehead she looked down to see their bodies entwined. Madara slowly turned around and stood up taking his clothes from the floor. She saw small stain of blood on the white bed sheet and with her ruined yukata she tried to wash it away.

"You still need to learn your lesson," his voice had a rough edge in it as she looked at him with a frown. "I thought about letting you go out to venture around the village but your childish behaviour at the table ruined everything. You will have a time to think about it, staying in this room till I change my mind" he stared at her with his normal, black eyes and without goodbye he left her alone. She covered herself with materials and let out small sob. The red stain next to her leg and sticky sensation between her thighs seemed to be laughing at her misery.

What a beautiful, _fleeting_ dream she had.

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 **ChiRagWyn:** Thank you for the reviews. I love to see questions that I can answer to. Well, I'm trying to paint a picture of really unequal society in Uchiha village: women there have nothing to do with politics or higher education, even if they have kekkei genkai they can't be shinobi. So the answer to why it weren't women? Because they are not "qualified" to. As you may have noticed it was Kabuto who is the healer. It was Madara who chose who will be assisting with the procedure - yes, he is ruthless by doing that but he isn't an angel in canon, is he? The thing about Sakura's thoughts about no father abandoning his child is this, Sakura never had real family, she only pictured it in her mind so she has no real perception about reality. So when Hashirama sends her away she is devastated to see that reality is different than her imagination. I hope I answered your questions and I adore that you ask them, and thank you for your reviews.

 **Shadow Miko, Guest, JigokuShoujosRevenge:** well after reading this chapter you know who caught her! :)

 **C.Z.B:** Yes it was necessary to show how different can be compound form another one, or how different clans prosper. Her humiliation showed her that there is too much she hadn't known.

 **Emilie9263:** Madara is rough and hard, I didn't want to make him different from canon. He isn't knight on white horse, however you will see how his behaviour and antics changes from chapter to chapter. And yes, he isn't gentleman.


	5. Chapter 4

**AN:** Thank you for your feedback, follows and favourites. If you have time, please review - I would like to see your thoughts or critique, it would mean so much to me. This chapter is posted really fast because I will not have enough time this week to post another one. So it would mean that next chapter will be updated within 2 weeks. I do not own Naruto, only plot is mine. I will answer your comments down below!

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Mikoto found her curled against the wall with a sheer bed sheet as a blanket. Older woman didn't say anything when she spotted messed up futon and red stain of blood at the centre of it. She called maids and started to clean loads of rice and tear sheets from her bed. Her back was stiff and to her mortification she still could feel lingering wetness between her legs - as the night proceeded she felt pain inside her, she didn't know if it was common or not. For all, she didn't even have somebody to ask about it. Sakura watched as young girls prepared her bath and clothes, leaving and entering the interior. Some bold ones stared at her hunched form, others only managed to steal quick glance. Her knees were bruised, she knew they were. She blamed the kneeling part of ceremony and her characteristic bones that protruded through her skin. Her hair was messy and tangled and when Mikoto appeared in her peripheral vision, her face was marked with worry. Her hand hang in the air for a while before green eyed girl took the invitation. Even if her nakedness embarrassed her, she didn't show it. When she stepped into the bathing room her nostrils relaxed as she audibly gasped. There wasn't lingering cinnamon smell any more. She shyly looked at Uchiha matriarch and bowed her head, knowing that it was her who changed the candles. The water was warm and when she sat in the bathtub her muscles stretched. _It was nice_. Glad that the humiliating fluids washed away from her lower regions she allowed herself to relax.

Not caring about older companion she ducked her face under the surface, cutting connection to surrounding her reality. She blinked and closed her eyes, hearing muffled noises and enjoying silence. When she was eleven, she ran away to the nearest lake and spent her time by swimming and diving in its depths. Mito was furious at her small escapade and Tobirama scolded her as if there was no tomorrow. His strong jaw always tensed when she did something out of order. Looking back at those moments, she terribly missed him.

Going up Sakura exhaled and combed her hair with bare hands. It was one night, yet she felt as if she had aged twice. Her arms gripped rink with a force. In few seconds her fingers started to get whiter and whiter when someone patted her forearm.

"It is not healthy to stay awake for the whole night," her sentence echoed in the room with honey like feeling. "You looked so beautiful yesterday. I even shared some tears for you," she started to wash her back with a harsh sponge. Sakura felt as the dead portion of her skin was scrubbed away and somehow it made her feel better. Not able to trace his markings any more. Mikoto's long ponytail reminded her of Itachi and she thought about asking why wasn't he present at the feast.

"What for?" she didn't mean to sound angry but the stress in her body didn't have enough time to be spared.

"I pitied you, love" her simple answer made her look at her with small wrinkle between her eyes. Mikoto's irises twinkled with mirth as she massaged some soap on her shoulders. "So young and so out of place. You looked as if your whole life had been taken away from you" the foam covered whole tube and sudden smell of vanilla hit her senses. She took the cleaning item in her own hands and rubbed her thighs with a raw feeling. _They would look like grazed,_ she thought frantically and dropped the swab with disgusted expression.

"Because it was," she remarked trying to get rid of his presence off of her by floating in rosemary water. "And I'm naïve to think that I could change my fate," one look at the silver ring made her upset. Black haired woman took her tresses and started to oil them with soft expression on her face. The smell of thick liquid invaded her nose when she visibly sagged.

"Did he force himself on you?" her question startled Sakura and for a moment she remembered how eager was she when he was so… _so human_. Taking one of the rose petals in her hands she stared at the ceiling with an empty stare. Her life had just begun.

"No, he didn't" she heard herself answer without any problem. "But he indented to," her addition didn't shock Mikoto. Maybe she was relieved that she had somehow stopped him from taking her by force. Her hands halted for a few seconds and anew their polishing. "And I'm confined to my room for the rest of my life," her agonizing murmur was met with silence of other woman.

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They dressed her in the baby blue kimono with a pink obi belt and tucked her hair into high bun. _It hurt_ , she almost snapped when Mikoto had put big hairpin which almost dug into her scalp. She was expected at the family breakfast. Sakura was shocked to hear that such trivial thing as eating together was important here as well, however she was reminded that she would have to face her husband after another humiliation. _Husband_ , she thought with a frown. Glancing at her reflection she still didn't recognize the girl standing in front of her. Her bones were visible even under few layers of kimono. She looked pathetic.

As maids left the place she tried to turn around to see the Uchiha crest crafted on the material. _It felt heavy_ , she decided as her green eyes took the fan in. She waited for someone to escort her because she felt that Madara's threat was as real as his murderous stance. And Sakura didn't want to anger him any more - anything to gain the freedom. Humming to herself she looked over her room with strange feeling forming in the pit of her stomach. That was her home now - the prison she was given and the name she was going to wear with pride. Even if the pride was forced upon her, she knew that being Madara's wife came with duties of Uchiha matriarch. Biting her lips she remembered when Tobirama looked at her as if she was the one who's going to be his future wife. She was repulsed at first, thinking how is she going to marry her own uncle but after all she wasn't even adopted by Mito and Hashirama. In fact, they were strangers. No blood correlation spun between them. Maybe if they hadn't decided on her departure she would have come to terms with Tobirama's proposition. She knew he wouldn't be as bad as Madara.

Thud of bamboo doors made her stop over thinking.

Her slender neck was exposed as she caught herself in the mirror. She ironed her sleeves with soft expression. She was sure it would be Itachi or Izuna, yet she was shocked to see the younger brother of Mikoto's family. He looked at her with angry eyes and she felt the urge to ask him if every Uchiha was secretly mad.

"Are you ready?" his voice surprised her. It wasn't that velvety depth of Itachi's one nor the rich baritone of Madara's. However, judging by his young age the type of roughness was rather familiar. She nodded and put her shoes without looking at them. All she wanted was to escape that tiny room. He closed shoju screen behind them and led them through the dark corridors. She couldn't stand that foreboding silence and darkness of the huge mansion. It was slightly terrifying that so many people lived there, yet the house was like a tomb - motionless and deadly.

"You are Itachi's brother, aren't you?" he slowly peeked at her and sighed while pinching his nose. His hair had odd shape and she stiffened when she pondered about ducks that swam across the lake she used to run away to. _Silly me_ , she whimpered as she almost hit his back. She didn't notice his abrupt stop.

"Yes. Had my brother already put you under his spell?" his smirk was irritating because it didn't even look genuine. She narrowed her eyes at him and stabbed her long finger in his chest.

"Surely he has more manners than you," she wanted to stick her tongue out but remembering who she became yesterday only depressed her previous, frivolous thoughts. He looked at her with his bottomless eyes and she swore that she had seen his anger erupting. His ears had red tinge at its ends and his hands clenched on his sword. Sakura's digit dug deeper when she leaned at him with her weight. "Besides what's your name? Susko? Sanuko?" she did it on purpose just to see his lower eyelid twitching with annoyance. Maybe she was as mad as him and didn't have anyone on whom she could let her anger out. She didn't know why, but arguing with him made her more lively than she ever was for the past days.

"Sasuke, you _annoying_ girl" her mouth formed small o-shape before she caught her composure. _That brat_ , no wonder he didn't have friends. Her hand hit his chest with loud echo.

"Oh, he speaks. Mister friendless speaks!" she crossed her arms under her breasts, shooting him vicious look. "Have you listened to yourself? Maybe you are annoying, not me," pressing on his patience she hadn't seen looming shadow behind Sasuke's head. She didn't know when but all of her previous energy slowly vanished and her arguing spirit left her person. She felt as if she started to shrink in his company.

"Surely you are the most _irri_ -" he stopped realizing another presence and rapidly bowed to Madara as if he didn't mock her before. "Uncle, I will take my leave" his long legs carried him fast and quickly he was out of her sight. Sakura glanced at her husband with worried expression. She could feel that invisible wall standing between them and blocking her from further cooperation. He was dressed in formal clothing, however it was rather newly designed. In span of few seconds he could put his armour on and venture out. His black orbs lazily observed her not so elegant posture and her glossy eyes.

"I hope that your childish and petty behaviour had subdued," his tone was cold and sharp, as if she had cut her finger on knife. Sakura's chin wrinkled when she nodded, trying to focus on his hands and not his face. He was towering over her and even from where she stood she could feel his scent. "Behave and do not talk when you are not asked," he strode towards her and offered his arm. Her hand flattered in the air before he shot her murderous glance. Clasping her digits around his wrist she bit her inner cheeks. Their footsteps were oddly soft and echoed through the long passage to the meeting hall. The guards were already standing next to the shoji screen and bowed seeing them, it wasn't something she expected. Loud bang of bamboo doors woke her from the strange melancholy as the room before her bathed in sunlight. Sakura's first reaction was a sudden stop that made Madara hissing with irritation. Correcting her mistake she anew her way as he gestured her place - it was next to him, on the wooden platform with a small table for two people. She remembered seeing similar image in one of the history scrolls, however Madara nor any of Uchiha's was not a royalty. Repressing that thoughts, she curled her knees and sat in front of the bowls full of rice and different pieces of meat. Sudden need to look at the people gathered in the interior made her skin prickle with goose bombs. If she was surprised, she didn't show it on her porcelain mask of nothingness. There were few elders on the right side, hurdled next to each other as a black unity. On the left she deducted Iuzna, Obito, Itachi and Fugaku Uchiha. It was rather small council as far as she was concerned. Taking chopsticks she dipped them in tea and dug them in rice. It was one of her antics that she developed when she was a child. Mito loved brewing tea and as she grew older, she always put her sticks in the hot liquid before eating. It sounded so silly for her now as she was faced with blackness of Uchiha residence. Chewing on her meal she ventured to wetting her sticks with warmth in her chest. She didn't want to eat, her stomach was still empty and devoid of any hunger. Nevertheless, she knew that by eating she graced the host and avoided suspicious glares. In her peripheral vision she saw her husband's hands working on his own food and blinking she adored his beautiful palms. For a killer and merciless head of clan, his fingers were breathtaking. She's never thought that men could have such extraordinary treats. Taking the cup with whitish tea she almost put it to her mouth when said ethereal digits got hold of the burgundy porcelain. Her lips parted when he looked at something behind her and put the liquid on the table. She could feel everyone staring at them as the silence prolonged.

" _My lord_ ," one of the elders began but he was quickly hushed by chilling red eyes. Her own could spot black dots dancing in his irises and she openly gaped at him when they formed geometrical figures. There was rustling next to her as she spotted three maids with their hands and foreheads glued to the wooden floor. She wanted to urge them to stand up but a painful grip on her thigh prevented her from speaking.

"Was it examined as I instructed?" her spouse sounded remorseless as he scanned the group with an ugly grimace on his features. Her head whipped at his question and warily she stared at the mug with a frown and strange knot in her stomach. The tea had to be tasted before arriving on their table? What for? Slowly, different feeling overcame her lithe form as realization slapped her white cheeks. _Poison?_ Did they always savoured Madara's food before him? Her wide eyes peeked at the seniors who also begged him for forgiveness. "I asked and didn't receive an answer," his sentence hung in the air with palpable threat. She saw Izuna moving towards one of the servants and before she could protest he grabbed the brown haired woman.

"I didn't do anything!" her yell was vibrating in Sakura's ears as the other girl was thrown before their legs. "Please," there was almost animal like yelp as the older maid ran towards the younger Uchiha.

"Please, my daughter hadn't done anything" her plea was met with forceful hit of Obito's shoe. She convulsed and cried out.

"Don't," she heard next to her as her fingers reached for the laying women. "Be silent," he whispered and with a theatrical manner brought the cup to his lips, she saw him tilting his neck and noticed that he never sipped it as it could have looked from the front. There was new commotion as one of the elders shot up with a frightened face.

"Lord!" his shriek stopped Madara's performance as he threw the mug at the bald man. Her breath caught in her throat as he stood up and took the teapot and did the same. "My lord," another yell and sound of knees hitting the floor in a begging manner echoed in the interior. Sakura's heart hammered in her chest as if she had ran for hours, the spinning sensation almost overwhelmed her person. Her husband slowly made his way towards hunched man and nudged his sides with his foot. _The expression on his face was horrendous_ , she thought as he circled the poor elder as if he was his prey.

"What did you do?" his question was full of vehemence and irritation. Her sweaty palms shook under the layers of her kimono as a cool chill ran down her spine. She shot desperate glance at Itachi, only to find him and his father bowing their heads as well. Her digits touched her collar bones with morbid sensation - there was something odd in her chest that almost tore her ribcage. She coughed and winced in pain.

"Forgive me, my lord" the incoherent muttering became vain and soundless as Madara's shadow loomed over that poor man. "I've never wanted to bring you any injury," his cheek twitched and he quickly glued it to the rough ground. "There is a poison. In the tea," she swore that it wasn't even a second before his back was pierced by slim sword. Her hands gripped the edge of table to support her troubled mind. Had she tasted her drink? She couldn't remember clearly but swirling in her head told her that, _yes_ indeed she took a small sip. _No_ , she didn't. Her ears registered wails of servants and Madara's screams at elders but everything seemed to be slowing down for her. Is she going to die the day after she was married? _How strange was her fate_ , she pondered as breathing became too hard for her. Nobody noticed her shrinking form as her eyelids fought for survival. Her stare stopped at the bowl of rice and she almost laughed at her own stupidity. She hadn't drank from cup, she dipped chopsticks in the liquid. There was something scratching her throat and before she knew small cough died on her lips. Looking at her baby blue kimono she saw droplets of blood and seeing them dropping, her fingertips touched her nose. It was bleeding.

She wanted to stand up but her arms gave up and she threw the plates from small table. Maybe it was meant to be, because with the sudden noise she brought attention to her whizzing person. She saw her husband looking strangely at her pained face. Even from the distance she could point out his hard bones clicking.

"My lady," her eyes snapped at the gentle voice. "Have you tasted the poison?" Itachi's hair stroked her cheeks when she nodded and gripped his hand with a strength she didn't know she had possessed. There were voices coming from every direction but her green eyes somehow found pair of crimson orbs. In that moment, laying in her own blood and trying not to leave this world _she hated him_. Hated him for being cruel towards her, despised him for caging her and not allowing her to see sunlight for so many days. She pitied him also, because every person had a breaking point. She hated him so much but in her last once of hope she touched his wrist.

"Please, I want to live" her throat burned and taking breaths stung. His expressionless mask of utter blankness was the last thing she saw before losing consciousness.

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She drifted between consciousness and sleep with a sick feeling of being not attached to her body. In moments of tranquillity and rationality, she remembered herself screaming and squirming underneath harsh cloth. Her insides were squeezing and convulsing, pressing with a haunting force onto her spine. She could hear words, utterances but couldn't break through the white fog that corrupted her person. Her whizzing breathing sounded pitiful even in her own ears when she begged them for water. Sakura wanted to live, even though her life turned upside down and her path was crowned with thorns rather than flowers , her will to breathe again was pushing her harder. _I must have been feverish_ , she thought when someone put icy sponge on her arms and rubbed it in circles. Her gratefulness quickly changed into whiny sobs that escaped her lips. It was too much, her frail bones were on fire.

"The fever is still in her blood," she heard Mikoto's voice and wanted to tell her to save her before darkness took over her once again. When she swam towards reality some time later, she was surprised how dry her eyes were. Blinking tiredness and pain away her lips opened and to her annoyance cracked. Adjusting to the small amount of light in her room, she twisted her neck only to see sleeping form of Sasuke. Her breath ghosted on her mounds as the unexpected presence settled in her head. Why would he be in here? She looked down on her sheet to see it completely ruined by her blood and other fluids. It was disgusting and this repugnance was strictly directed at her. Her chin quivered when she wrinkled her small nose - how long was she in this state? Throwing the blanket away she inspected her figure with her brows furrowing at the pathetic state. Trying to sit was a challenge - her muscles felt unused and tense. _Indeed she felt heavy_ , she observed as her wobbly arm almost gave in under her weight.

"What are you doing?" her huge eyes snapped at irritated voice of younger brother of Mikoto's siblings. He was leaning against the wall but his stance and readiness told her that he was here to keep her safe.

"I need to drink," the moment she spoke, she gulped with dryness that affected her vocal cords. She had to be unconscious at least for few days then. His stare didn't leave her as he poured water to the black cup. He positioned himself next to her side and with a mute politeness his hand cupped hers and clasped mug. "Thank you," when her lips were at ease, she decided to ask questions. Too bad for her that her companion stood up and walked towards the shoji screen.

"Lay down, I have to contact my uncle," he straightened and vanished behind bamboo doors. Sakura touched her forehead expecting it to be hot or at least warm. On the contrary to her belief, she was cold. Sighing she rolled over her stomach, watching the shadows of guards patrolling the mansion. Something clicked in her mind and she gasped realizing that in fact she wasn't in her chamber. She shivered while spotting differences in design when her penetrating gaze stopped at the crimson armour. Her heart leaped in her chest as the sudden dizziness slapped her with double force. She was in her husband's territory. Trembling in her legs dawned on her when a strong gust of wind ruffled her yukata.

"You've awakened" she didn't want to yelp but the unforeseen entrance left her breathless. Her hand grabbed the sheet to cover her shaking form. "There is no need for such modesty," he drawled looking at her with a blank face. He closed the door and slowly sat in front of her futon. She wasn't completely sure if it was hers in first place. "Do you know how long have you been in this," his eyes shone with anger as he spoke. "In this condition?" the manner in which he prolonged last letter swirled around her mind for a few seconds. She wetted her mounds with her hot tongue.

"I'm unaware," she sounded disoriented and lost. Her husband crossed his arms on his wide chest and breathed in annoyance.

"A week," his answer shocked her. She was predicting three, four days not a whole god-damned week. Her genuine loss of words stopped his taunting for a minute. "Well then, tell me. Why would you do such dense thing?" he snapped and his veins popped at his neck. His baritone was dripping with venom as he pinched the base of his nose. Sakura took five calming breaths before fighting back.

"How could I know there was a poison?" she was too weak to scream but the high pitched note in her question hung in the air. "It was your man. He was trying to get me killed and you are blaming me?" locks of her pink hair dropped over her shoulder as she regained her confidence.

"Yes, that's your fault!" hideous scowl marked his ageing profile. "Damned Hashirama," he muttered clenching his fists. "You are in no way worthy to prosper as the Uchiha matriarch and they were trying to get rid of you and your incompetence," something untamed glistened in his orbs as she tried to fight with welling up tears. "Stupid girl," he growled watching her despair.

"I'm your wife," she spat and her emerald irises shook with hidden fire that rested in her belly. She had to look laughable, her wide eyes and chaotic hair contrasting with her pale skin and silver yukata. Maybe it was only her who found it amusing. Madara's features started to change. From irritation to dangerous whirlpool of emotions. "You will treat me with respect," her fingers shook when she waited for his response. She could see his muscles flexing and his jaw popping. There was only a swizz of air and her neck was choked by his strong palm. She bulged and gasped, trying to get his hand off of her throat.

"Are you lecturing me about honours?" his hold deepened and her legs automatically started to kick his joints. "Insufferable, little wench" when he let go of her she coughed her fear away with terrors rolling through her whole body. "You owe me everything," he stood up and stared at her as if she was a mere worm.

"I owe you nothing!" her fierce yell was a mistake. As fast as his every previous action her cheek exploded with hot, stinging sensation. She could hear the beating of her own heart and hard breathing of her spouse but neither of them moved. Sakura bit her lips while turning her face in agonizingly slow tempo. Reddish imprint of his own hand stood out on her ivory skin when she held his deathly stare.

"You will never be suitable," his cold sentence cut her in half.

"I will never respect you," she remained on her fours looking at her fisted hands.

Her tears never leaked.

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 **Akane:** I'm so glad you've found it beautiful. I was aiming at poetical description even though Madara is a horrible husband at the moment. I hope you will find more of their beauty in the next chapters.

 **JigokuShoujoLazy:** Thank you for thinking so! I had an idea of him forcing himself on her as their first night progressed, however do not be at ease - Madara is rough as rock. But who knows - maybe something/someone will change him?

 **88:** The question is how long will Madara be merciful towards her, don't you think so?

 **Rosaaerith:** Glad you've enjoyed the smutty part - well we shall see if Madara is able to change, won't we?

 **ChiRagWyn:** The aim of this story was to show different insights of camps, clans etc. I won't tell much more not to spoil further chapters, but there will major explanation. For now, Mikoto is her right hand - will she be there always? You need to wait and see if she actually does. Ah, yes. It seems that even small part of Madara caught some empathy towards his wife - how much? I do not know, right now. Thank you for your insight and thoughts!

Tell me what you think and if you have spotted traces of my otp from Naruto series in this chapter, thank you 3


	6. Chapter 5

**AN:** Please forgive me for the absence, my studies are taking huge tool on my daily life. I have two majors plus I have to write my BA thesis. The updates on Saudade will be uneven - I can't promise how regular they can be. It's almost 10 pages of words to keep you warm. Thank you for all the reviews and favourites - I will be forever grateful.  
 **Warning:** unedited, I will come back when I have a time.

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He closed the door with too much force than it was necessary, making the shoji screen tremble. His head pulsated with throbbing pain as his eyes returned to their normal color. Cursing under his rapid breath he stumbled due to the overuse of his _kekkei genkai_ and growled at the guard who dared to move to his side. It didn't matter if he and his wife just ended another argument - which resulted in something that repulsed _even_ him. He pushed the young soldier away and made his way down the corridor. _That stupid girl_ , his thoughts betrayed his stance as he stopped dead in his tracks. His right hand was itching and the feeling of it irritated his mind. Peeking at his palm he saw how red it was. At the back of his head he remembered the reverberation of his hit that fell upon him like a waterfall -he was brute, of course he was but he had never physically hurt a women. His fist flew against the wall and was followed by a soundless cracking of his bones. She was _so…_ So infuriating and gullible. Sighing at his late remorse his angry gaze turned to see if her doors were guarded. When she came into his ruthless life, he had promised himself that he would tear her apart. His pathetic leadership was the only thing that mattered to him besides his younger brother. She was invading his space and crumbling his peace - something he had always treasured.

Her image was laughable, yet fascinating. He vividly remembered how her ivory skin shone, bathed in the moonlight with her hair floating around her like a halo. She didn't fit Uchiha canon and for that he was grateful. His treacherous emotions swirled around the young woman as he suppressed them by jumping through the open window. He knew he was damaged and rough: since his early years he was trained to kill and operate with minimal gentleness. His feet touched the roof as he stared at the full moon and listened to the wind. His village looked like a ghost town. There was not any sound of people gathering or feasting - the only thing that was evident were lights in some of the houses he could see. His wife was bright, it annoyed him how such a tiny person could bear so many layers of colours. She was out of his hand, he couldn't grasp her in his palm. His whole life was constructed on obedience and respect - his father's form materialized in his mind with echoes of his vicious whispers. He would show her his wrath, for all he was the one who was expected to be honoured. Catching small leaf in his digits he looked at it closely before crushing it. She was similar, he could have broken her in any way he wanted. Her slender neck, he would choke and watch how life faded from her grassy eyes. Or her beating heart, which he hated from all of the other things the most - that thing which brought visions of her splayed under him. Setting his jaw with a slow pop he inhaled the scent of earth. He understood the fact she was practically murdered while she was next to him. It angered him, this whole situation of betrayal and her closed, lifeless eyes. Somehow he couldn't picture her dying by anyone else but himself. Her demeanour was childish and he hoped that he gave her reasons for it to vanish before another assassination. The picture of new Uchiha matriarch seemed to be an irony. No one would accept her, even his relatives.

Hashirama should have known better than that. Something clicked in his clouded thoughts as he sprung from the mansion and with his abnormal speed raced to the training grounds. _The dawn was close_ , he mused as his legs carried him with no resistance. He heard them before he saw them, they were sparring and if it wasn't for his suspicions he would have watch them and interfere. His spark of chakra alerted them as both males stopped their movements.

"Aniki," he scanned his brother for any injuries but seeing nothing worse than some burns and scratches he nodded at Izuna with blank expression. The other Uchiha bowed and stoically stared at him with his red eyes.

"I have a quest for both of you," his words hit shinobi as they openly gawked at him. "Find the archives of killed elder and question those two maids. Poison isn't an Uchiha thing," he scratched his chin with his long fingers. Itachi seemed to know what he was implying, following his trail of thoughts by analysing situation.

"Do you believe that it was orchestrated?" he merely glanced at his younger relative as his vision clouded by pain. _Damned bloodline_.

"If I am not mistaken," his joints seemed to be ablaze. "Senju love to keep their hands clean" ending their discussion he was ready to part their ways, however a firm hand on his shoulder blocked his chance.

"Your eyes. You overdid Sharingan, didn't you?" he wanted to punch Izuna for that. His grip loosened as if he felt the anger he had tickled. "Go and sleep, you haven't slept for three days," slapping his palm away he jumped in the forest and exhaled long breath.

* * *

She didn't know what triggered her mood or at least she pretended to forget the reason. As the morning came, Sakura was fully bathed and ready to get dressed. Lurking through her husband's wardrobe she scanned his clothes with a tight scepticism. Almost all of the fabrics were dark or reddish - there was not any light colour. She wasn't surprised nor was she delighted to hear rustling behind shoji screen. Her hunched spine straightened to achieve the perfect posture. Moving towards unmade futon, she was ready to argue with her spouse only to be shocked to see Mikoto with a row of maids. They all had her belongings in their hands as well as few of her kimonos. She wrinkled her nose at the sight of powders and tints - they all made her look like a doll and not a living human being. Her yukata clung to her body as the servants put everything in different places. One of them gaped at her and quickly bowed before leaving beige interior. All of them looked at her at some point and she wondered what could possibly catch their attention when a cold hand cupped her cheek. Sakura's first reaction was to lean away, however feminine digits slowly massaged her bruised skin. She didn't have a chance to look at his doing properly - she only saw a glimpse of reddened complexion. The black haired woman sighed and ventured around the room to grab her basket.

"I'm glad that you are awake," her words were sincere and simple. It made her young heart swell with something akin to appreciation. "It was a long week for people that cared for your well being," she searched for something and happily pulled a very well known jar of ointment.

"Meaning you?" Sakura's words were a pure irony yet they didn't bring any humorous effect as Mikoto observed her with negative attitude. "I'm sorry," her apology was quick and painless, making older woman sag in defeat.

"Your husband was worried," her cold fingers smeared in liniment touched her injury. It smelled like mint and pepper - it was a nice combination. Looking directly into black orbs, she laughed in fake amusement.

"Surely, he did" she muttered under her breath as she recalled their last meeting. After killer, psychopath and obedience freak he was almost rapist and wife beater. _How lucky she was_ , her irritation spoke for her. "He even got me a gift" her lame joke was met with silence from her companion. She was doing everything in her power to prevent herself from being weak and mumbling mess. Nevertheless, her dry humour was only irking person next to her.

"Madara- _sama_ ordered to move your belongings to his room as it is expected of you to share it," she recited previously remembered order with a formidable coldness. Sakura's eyelid twitched as she finally caught her expression in the small, hanging mirror. Indeed her husband left her memento. Her left cheek was swollen and started to bruise in violet and yellowish colours. What has she anticipated from the soldier wilding a sword? She didn't say anything about the change of location - maybe she was too tired to fight another battle in a short span of hours. There were voices coming from the corridor and in her peripheral vision she saw Mikoto bowing and gluing her hands to the _tatami_ mat. Glancing at her sleeping yukata, she inwardly pulled one of the burgundy materials hanging from the chest of drawers. Bamboo doors clicked and she saw two pale men. Of course, one of them was her husband but the other one was not familiar. She dipped her head slowly, trying to behave as well as she could. Her mind screamed at her submission but she didn't waver. There was a new resolve with which she has woken up - to survive and show her true value.

"This is your guard," rich baritone rung in her ears as she finally levelled her eyesight to his tired one. His eyes were bleak and motionless, as if all of their power had vanished. Her hand twitched at her side as she thought about asking him what happened. _It wouldn't be welcomed_ , she warily thought. Her green irises skimmed over the lean man or maybe a boy who deliberately had lowered his face. Either he was embarrassed or well trained. "His name is Sai," he eloped with morbid seriousness and before she could greet her assistance the boy named Sai saluted and exited the room. Her lips parted in shock from the abrupt introduction and he must have seen this because he proceeded with his lazy informative tone. "Don't bother with stupid talk, he is mute. They cut his tongue when he was a child," her heart clenched painfully for the black haired male. How could a person do something so cruel to another person? She forgot about Mikoto still bended in a full bow and with slight movement of her chin she tried to catch his attention. His brow rose at her silent manoeuvring and when he saw older woman he nodded at her. "You won't be needed for a couple of minutes. Excuse yourself and return when you see me outside," he ordered without batting his eyes. She heard Mikoto's movements and swish of shoji screen, realizing that she was with him alone.

"They moved my things," her mouth moved with slowness and dryness. The material of one of his many kimonos covered her shaking legs.

"Yes, I'm aware of that" he clipped his tongue and scanned the interior with critical expression. "You don't have much" his feet started to move and she tensed when he circled her with his arms crossed on his chest.

"They sent me without preparation," she was weary in his company. Irritating sensation in her lower abdomen woke her nervousness which she slyly hid from preying gazes of servants. Sakura's kimonos consisted of three pieces that elegantly hung next to her husband's ones. There was stark contrast between the colouring - hers were bright and carefree, his bloody and brooding. Blinking, she focused on his huge form. He was intimidating even if he refrained from using words.

"You will change and assist me in meeting hall," his black orbs roamed around the room, only to settle on her small person. The sensation of being trapped and crushed overwhelmed her body but she quickly repressed that, eyeing her husband with a frown. "Have Mikoto cover that unhealthy colours adoring your face," his tongue clicked as he nonchalantly roamed around the interior. Her green irises ignited and as she was ready to throw some nasty remark she quickly has remembered previous resolution. The tension left her bones and she could only nod at his request. Was it even a plea? If he was shocked by her compliance, he did not bother to show it to her. A sound of silk being dragged on the wooden panels woke her from melancholic state she was in. Rising perfect brow at lavish, emerald kimono levitating in front of her was her way of asking questions. However, Madara was not keen on talking to no one so seeing his annoyed expression, she wanted to amend for her mistakes.

"This one? I thought about the blue one," her meek voice was delicate and soft and for the very first time Sakura saw almost gentle spark in his bottomless eyes. In her mind she did not actually spoke to him as a refined lady should - she was blind and of course childish, she couldn't blame her to the fullest due to the fact that she has always been a fighter. If the fragile tone of her words could break his killer posture she would use that. Noting that information in her mental diary she scanned his body as if to see if he was still present.

"Blue makes you look like a child and not a wife," his explanation rung in her eardrums for a while and before she could react he cupped her chin in his rough fingers. "Behave today and I would let you decide on the aesthetics of your future robes."

Her bottom lip trembled and touched his skin - there was a small spark of something primal, in her and in him. Having been made to look straight into his eyes, she slowly allowed herself to relax. The vision of having new kimono was exciting one, no matter how primitive and vain it sounded like Sakura was never the one who could say anything about her clothing - not to mention the lack of the prospects of new kimonos. Reflecting upon his sentence she touched her heart and with dignity she had possessed, she dropped in an elegant bow.

"I would not embarrass you nor your clan," her forehead glued to the floor she promised herself to show them all who she could be.

* * *

The meeting hall was almost lifeless and not so stuffy as she had expected it to be. Her pink tresses were pinned at the back of her head with many pins that ended in silver jewels hanging on tiny threads. They made her hair looks more pale than it already was, however the lotus flower plucked onto her bun added more colour and character to her up do. Deep green kimono she wore had wide sleeves that ended with golden embroidery and her obi belt was turquoise, its ends lingering at the back of her legs. She looked regal - almost as if she had aged from the previous night. Mikoto put a lot of creams and powders to camouflage bruises on her skin. Her lips were red and eyes were touched with black coal, making them look more dangerous and exotic. The sandals, high and uncomfortable, added few inches to her height and as she was lead to the main seat next to her husband she could hear few sharp intakes of breath at her entrance.

She was glad.

Sakura's worries might have been nothing compared to the situation she was in, however the new spark of hope, of resilience to show her true value filled her with small ounces of warmth. Madara's looming form did not scare her as she tucked her knees under her body with stoic elegance. She saw the way he has carried himself and she was good at mimicking things. He was visibly tired - the fatigue showed in his eyes. His eyes, she knew they were not in their usual shape due to the strange matt fog surrounding sockets. If he was kind or gentle she would have tried to speak to him about eventual cure for their pain - she was perfectly suited to perform the herbal mixture to ease the stinginess and uncomfortable dryness. Taking already tasted by a maid tea she gracefully sipped from the cup eyeing her husband from her peripheral vision. He was eating and as if he felt her gaze his irises met her own. They were blank - it hurt her to admit that they looked almost as if he was blind. That haziness that occupied his eyeballs was like a rock hitting her chest. She shouldn't care about his well being, not after his brutal treatment, nevertheless the scary scenario that awaited her after his supposed death made her stomach turn upside-down. Uchiha stance became sluggish and when she dipped her wooden sticks in the rice the sound of falling goblet echoed in the huge room. Sakura's first instinct was to reach out to him, her heart leapt in her throat when she saw the red, daemon eyes staring at her alabaster palm.

Something clicked in her mind and connecting the dots she finally reached the conclusion. That redness and black spots dancing in his sockets made him weak. But why? Her slim fingers returned to her bowl and with thoughts of medical herbs on she continued on eating. If anyone had seen Madara's moment of weakness - they acted as if nothing had happened. She looked at the council with something similar to hatred on her tongue. Were there more of people who wanted her dead seating in front of her? Curling her small hand into fist she repressed depressing halo and watched as her husband had hushed the entire room only by moving his head.

"Bring him in," his baritone echoed inside the walls as guards vanished behind shoji screen only to return with a doctor she remembered from her gynaecological procedure. Her shoulder tensed but she did not weaver under his stormy eyes. "What have you deducted?" slow syllables rolled from the mouth of the Uchiha Lord when the grey haired man dipped in curtsey. Her forehead wrinkled at the strange exchange but she quickly returned her gaze on the kneeling man.

"The poison that affected Lady Uchiha was strong and had to be made months, maybe moons ago," the lazy way of his explanation sent shivers down her delicate spine. "I've tried to match the symptoms and qualities to the potions known throughout Lord's lands, however the match has never been made. The flower used as a core is not growing inside our borders," she circled her teacup with her index fingers listening to the horrific discoveries. "The core is based on a single flower, flower that can bring a horse down. Forgive me for the bluntness, my Lord," he added quickly when a loud huff came from the elders. " Due to the allegation with the Sound and the almighty necromancer Orochimaru-sama I was able to deduct which flower caused all of this," he licked his lips and looked at her and her husband in sick glory from his achievements. "It was _Adonis ramosa_ , exactly speaking its roots, my Lord."

There was strange, eerie sound inside her skull. It wandered through her head and spine only to stop in her lower abdomen. The high pitch of the irritating noise allowed her to catch shuddering breath she did not know she was holding. Everything was quite, even if she saw Madara's lips moving she was enveloped inside a glass balloon that was expected to burst in a moment.

"Where do they grow?" the growl made her aware that she had returned from her dazed state and without thinking she opened her mouth.

" _Senju_ gardens," she did not know if it was her speaking or the simple answer that changed the room from silent to heated and loud. Her wide eyes pooled with anxiety looked straight at the killer beside her with silent frown. His red irises swirled and something similar to acknowledgement adored his tired face.

"Senju? My Lord, how could they poison their own kin?" the elder screamed and she winced at how bristle his words were. There were few more voices that demanded an answer while she slowly tried to remember everything associated with the Amur Adonis - something itched her from the inside and suddenly everything clicked in one place.

"Behind the main household there were gardens where Mito had planted her cherished flowers," the strange taste in her mouth did not make her stop the explanation. "There was too many kinds to count, roses, tulips, magnolias - there were also herbs she used in her medicine. At the end of the garden there was an empty place, she told me that it would be a square where she would grow plants and flowers for me," it sounded so wrong to say such private things to the foreign people, however the more she spoke the more she became aware of how poorly treated she was. "First she planted cherry tree, for my namesake. Flower and tree after tree and flower, finally she planted Adonis ramosa saying that we shouldn't pluck it out due to the poisonous effects. I did not know why did she plant it in the first place. She said, because it reminded her of _me_ ," the ghostly whisper came out of her in realization that her own… own family tried to kill her. With a poison from her own garden.

"Why did it remind her of you?" Kabuto question seemed to be naïve but she quickly saw through his façade.

"They bloom in the early spring and they are known to announce it. My name and my birthday - everything makes sense," her lips parted and she slowly sagged in her seat.

Mito… her bright, strong Mito. Was she poisoned from her hand? The thoughts swirled around her when a strong, masculine hand wrapped around her wrist. Madara's face never turned towards her, yet he hold her under the table as if she needed it. Deep down inside her she was glad that he showed some kind of humanity when her life started to crumble once again. The news slashed her ripped heart like a whiplash. How was it possible?

"Itachi and Izuna found a note attached to the jar of the poison," his low murmur was aimed at her and she inwardly nodded for him to continue. The sound of rustling made her glance at the scroll in front of her nose. The characters were written in a beautiful way, almost as if it was done by a scholar. Everyone could be fooled, everyone but her. Staring at the wide strokes and the final meaning of the whole sentence Sakura's eyes lost their flicker. It was as if her whole life had been sucked out of her lithe body.

" _Not only a water can float a boat, it can sink it also_ ," the words flew from her lips like a prayer and if she was alone she would let the tears flow. She was in the meeting hall, next to her husband and Lord Uchiha - she couldn't show them her weakness no matter her agony and despair. She traced her fingertips on the characters with mild tenderness and remembrance. She could feel Madara's eyes glued to her transfixed person, however he did not say anything. It was her moment. The moment of truth. Gripping the paper in her trembling hand she heard it crumbling underneath her strength.

"Was it some kind of a riddle?" the bald elder squeaked and she tried to laugh but failed miserably.

"No, my dear councilman. It is a warning," her soft features morphed into the steel.

* * *

She did not know if her performance was extraordinary that Madara allowed her to wander through the mansion, however she hadn't questioned his hospitality and quickly vanished in the corridors leading to the koi pond. As she ran the remaining pieces of her up do fell with every step she took - the jewellery lost on the wooden floor was never reclaimed. The long sleeves of her kimono tucked the material down so her right shoulder was completely exposed to the human eye. Her feet made thudding noises that erupted at the back of her head but she did not mind them at all. When she pushed another shoji door on her left - suddenly the fresh air slapped her rosy cheeks. She stopped, inhaling night scent and looking at the moon with longing written all over her face. Taking off her sandals she quickly made her way towards wooden _soribashi_ that loomed over the lake. When she was at the top of it her fingers took off her white socks and with excitement in her veins she sat and lounged her legs over the edge so they dangled above the water. She could spot bright, orange fishes swimming beneath her - unaware of the cruel world surrounding them. There was also white ones, almost transparent with long whiskers that slowed them while exploring pond depths. Sakura loved nature, the sound of crickets when she fell asleep or chirping of the birds when she opened her eyes. Here in the Uchiha compound the only sound she heard was slow, peaceful echo of the nearby waterfall. Maybe tiny bubbles coming from fishes could be heard if she had focused on these magical animals. Taking in the beautiful view, she dropped her chin onto her arm and looked at the stars that shone with blinding force.

If anything was ethereal, then it had to be the moon.

The longer she looked at it, the more she was afraid it would fall on her. The weight of the situation she was in was nothing comparable to the slow, creeping fright of the huge unknown force looming in the distance.

"My ancestors were devoted to the moon," the hair on her back stood when rough baritone destroyed her favoured silence. She was stubborn and tired so lazily looking behind her shoulder she was met with a towering person of her husband. Her loose hair pooled around her with soft waves as she returned to her previous position.

"I can see why," her bitter words were clipped but not unfriendly, shooting timid look at the man beside her she saw him tilting his head towards her. He was still in pain. "Did they build the shrines for the moon's gods?" if her question startled him, he did not show her that. His back were pressed against the wooden balustrade behind him when he crossed his arms.

"In the forest behind the _karesansui_ , however few of us still hold their beliefs," her green eyes shot in the direction of trees and with melancholic sound she exhaled soft breathes.

"Even though, you Uchihas seem to be very traditional people." She heard him snorting and without a thought her head whipped at him. It was almost unimaginable to think about him laughing so the mild surprise written on her heart shaped face was practically endearing.

"That's how we have been brought up," he pushed himself from his place and took few steps to stand next to her sitting form. "The note. You know who had written it," his fingers played on the wooden ornament and she looked at the bluish fish that swam under the bridge.

"I know. And I know that the warning is as palpable as the poison was," taking a grip of the balustrade she straightened up and searched for her fallen garments. Not looking at her husband she dusted off her socks. "You know," she started and awkwardly patted his tensed arm when he figured out she stepped into his personal space. "I know that your eyes are troubling you. I can see that from the way you are squinting them but also from the bleakness of your sockets. You may think that I'm not suitable for the position of the matriarch and maybe you are in favour of your words, nevertheless I can help your eyes. To get better," he stopped breathing for a few seconds before he slapped her digits without his usual strength. She girthed her teeth but remained stoic as she saw him contemplating her words. The moon was covered by a cloud and she couldn't observe the colourful fishes no more.

"Herbs?" the pained expression on his face alarmed her but he already formed steel mask on his features.

"Yes, you have huge gardens. Especially the part over there is promising," she gestured empty space between forest and koi pond and smiled. "I can take the discomfort away," his hawk nose and furrowed brows suggested her that he was tired as she was.

"One condition," there was a warning in his voice. "Tell me about the note. Only truth," the red eyes blazed in the cold night.

"The people can raise someone to power, meaning people are the water and someone is a boat. But they can also take it away. It's a _Chinese_ proverb and it holds a threat. They think they rose me to power by marrying me to you - by now I suspect they thought you would kill me. That's why when they discovered you did not, they tried to make sure to frame you or your people. I'm a pawn for them, nothing more. I should have realized it sooner. And if you really want to know who wrote the message I can tell you that it is the same person who thought about the poison," she quickly glanced at his profile to see him griping the wood and destroying the ancient bridge. "Women are sometimes more dangerous than men, they are like snakes," she commented and before she could blink he was gone. She exhaled and with a soft smile she looked at the stars again.

* * *

Sakura's eyes snapped open when an unknown force ripped her yukata open. She was so slow to realize that and when her hand tried to hit the attacker she was met with empty, red eyes staring at her naked breasts with hunger. The fear that took over her slowly vanished when she recognized her husband but it returned when he gripped her hair in his fist and made her scream. She blindly kicked her legs to free herself from his assault but it was only in vain. His rough hands touched her nipples and without a warning he switched their positions so she hit the futon with her bruised cheek and cried out in pain.

"Madara!" her scream was almost animal like when the fabric from his pants were ripped by his own digits. She couldn't comprehend what was happening, taking into an account the whole day of rather pleasant bond between them. "Stop!" shirking she gasped for air when he separated her tights with one movement. "Stop it!" her green eyes widened when he froze and all she could hear were their own breaths mashing together into one. Sweaty palm touched her cheek and she shivered when she felt him looming over her.

"Tonight we're having it my way, dear wife," each word was cold and empty as if someone ran their nails on the wall. She trashed and he held her down only to ram into her with all his force. Her throat convulsed and the mute yell died on her lips as she was met with another thrust. She couldn't breathe. His muscles kept her still and his growls danced in her mind when he finally decided he wanted to hear her. Gripping her hips he pulled her towards him so she found herself on her fours. The pink tresses covered her face for which she was glad because the next time he started to move she found herself gasping for air. At the back of her mind she was revolted at the way he was treating her, like some kind of wench and not like his proper wife. Her body, though, betrayed her - the tingling became almost painful when his fingertips ghosted on her front, lower region. She shouldn't accepted that behaviour but Madara's grip tightened and in that moment his cock found a spot inside her that made her seeing white.

"Oh _kami_ ," her treacherous mouth spoke before she could have stopped it. She hadn't had idea how many times she did repeat that words but when his rhythm became almost maniacal she wasn't even caring. His last thrust sent her on the edge one more time and her body slumped forward with boneless feeling. His seed dripped down her legs and she should have been disgusted - she should have but she was too tired to care. His long hair tickled her spine before he stood up and went to the corner of their bedroom. She saw him cleaning himself and slowly, almost agonizingly she sat up and stared at her spouse with a frown. Damn it, she could feel tears leaking down her cheeks and when he looked at her his face betrayed nothing.

"You scared me," she whispered covering her naked torso with blanket. The accusation vibrated on her whole body and she wanted him to know that. "Why did you do that? You just had to ask!" she wasn't screaming, her tone was loud but the gulp inside her throat did not allow her to yell. His toned muscles moved and he was crouching in front of her with hazy eyes. There were blood drops on his cheekbones.

"Don't forget your place. What I want is what I get," his deathly smirk mocked her heaving person. He looked almost crazy, the way his eyes took her shivering form and the endless sound of his short breaths. "You've pleased me today," long fingers patted her head but she quickly smacked his palm with her own. The raw feeling between her legs was pulsating and looking down at her thighs she saw red liquid mashed with a white one.

"Is that what you've wanted?" she whispered shooting him weary stare that transformed into a frown when huge body of her husband lumped forward and trapped her under his weight. The air was knocked out of her once again but before she could trash or move she heard slow, rhythmical puffs of his hot mouth against her neck. He was sleeping. Her hands smoothed the skin of his back and without a thought she quickly covered their bodies with comforter. The lines on his face relaxed and from what she could see he looked almost peaceful. _Almost beautiful._ Turning around she clenched her fists onto her futon to prevent herself from trembling. After all - he was still enigma to her. The pain inside her throbbed.

* * *

 **AN:**

Well, few explanations to the chapter:

the flower mentioned is in fact poisonous - it's root as a matter of fact. it is also known as a sign of spring - its coming, so everything stated in chapter is true.

chinese proverb - it is also an actual sentence, the explanation is the one that is more known in our times but the meaning is the same.

you have to remember that this is sort of an au - warring states/feudal japan mixed with naruto characters and their powers. when it comes to sakura's abilities - you have to wait and see, i'm not going to tell you what will happen.

madara is still a brute; complicated one for sure, he has his own problems and as you could see his pov is also important to the story - did you like it?

Once again, thank you for your support and remember this story is NOT ABANDONED.


	7. Chapter 6

**AN:** I do not own Naruto. More at the end of the chapter.

 _"When you're old, all you want to do is stare at the scenery. It's so strange. I've never felt so peaceful before."_ **Howl's Moving Castle**

* * *

She could feel the dusk on her eyelids, spreading its warmth across her porcelain skin. The whole night was spent dreamless and motionless. Her thoughts were aimlessly running through her head when the ceiling seemed to be the only fascinating thing in the whole room. Long tresses of her hair laid underneath her, ebbing its ends on bare arms. Sakura's green eyes roamed around the interior and with a soft exhale landed on muscular shoulders of her husband. Still facing the other side of their bedroom his presence was odd.

He had never stayed before.

As for now, his back was moving with his regular breathing and the skin covering his spine was almost perfect. So snowy and alluring. The faint pink lines of old gashes and wounds looked like strokes of paint. The angular shapes of them formed constellations in her opinion. Her hand shook when she slowly, unsure of her action moved it towards Madara's body. Fingertips brushed his biceps and with mute realization she traced the scars with something akin to fascination. His skin was soft, almost mellow in touch. She could hear him exhaling - she wasn't sure if it was due to her sudden behavior or was it because of his prolonged sleep. The spot right under his elbow had rough edges and with a frown she carefully turned it to her side. Examining structure of the injury she was sure it was a broken bone that mended in wrong direction. It should have been painful, she mused watching as his chest tensed.

Watching him was strange. He was… _enigmatic._ Softening her features Sakura stole a quick glance at his relaxed face. While he was sleeping, he looked younger. The deep wrinkles vanished and it their places she saw gentle lines. Moving without a sound she sat on her knees returning to her observations. Her hair mashed with his own as she stared at his lips. They were full and dry at the edges. Man like him shouldn't have such visionary beauty. Looming above his front, she spotted his fingers displayed on the futon. Oh, his fingers were vision of art. Taking his palm in her own she studied the tips and firm skin of them. They were strong - in one move they could cut her open and at the same time they were so tender. Her irises widened when one of his hands traced a circle on her knee. The time she so dearly spent has ended as her troubled gaze met bleak stare of Madara's eyes. They were empty and bloody - as if he overused them somehow. The silence was thick and gloomy as no one dared to move or speak. She wasn't sure what to do - the swollen thighs were the reminder of previous night, however she decided not to dwell on the past anymore. Throbbing pain was nothing in comparison to betrayal of her family. Biting her lip she tensed when cold wind blew against bamboo doors.

"You've never slept with me in the mornings," her words were sincere and cautious, she was speaking as if she was faced with deer in the highlights. The echo of her sentence hung in the air like a melody. It was strange, she thought, that deep down inside her she enjoyed such mindless routine.

"I'm tired," glancing at his visibly hurting eyes her own pooled with something similar to pity. His majestic halo crumbled down and showed devastated man. The redness of his sockets and constant blinking ensured her about the inflammation. The baritone of Uchiha lord vibrated against her chest as her digits slowly crept upon his temples. She ignored the stickiness on thighs as her small body moved close to him. "What are you doing?" his question wasn't strong or spiteful. She was grateful for that.

"Helping you," as if it was the simplest thing in her life Sakura's hand massaged his skin with easiness in her touch. "The headache will go away if I keep on doing that. You should rest today," the tips of her hair scraped his chest but he didn't seem to be perturbed by that. His nose wrinkled, however as he took some of the air surrounding her his muscles relaxed. Was it her scent? "My lord?" her lips parted as his knuckles pressed against her knees.

"I do not have luxury of wasting time as a head of the clan," there was a tinge of sarcasm beneath the stillness of his face. She mused out loud and continued her work, pressing certain points to ease his pain. "Why are you helping me?" Madara's black orbs found hers and in a mute accusation burned holes in her forehead. Pink halo of her tresses sunlit in the morning sun looked like a cotton trap. She was so fragile.

"Because you are my husband." The sleeve of her yukata slid down from her shoulder as his stare changed direction. The paleness of her skin was radiating. Tempting. It looked so ethereal. "It is my duty to serve you in sickness and in health," she finished taking off her agile fingers. He huffed turning on his side without a word. She faced his spine again and with tranquillity she gathered her sleeping robe and stood up. "I will prepare herbs to clean your eyes," the wind blew against windows as she waited for his response. It was like a lifetime for her, waiting for him to acknowledge her abilities. Not only as a healer but as his wife. "If you allow me," she added sheepishly tugging on the hem of her dress. His reaction wasn't instant, she felt as if it were hours before he decided to speak.

"You have my permission. Take Sai with you," there was a warning in his voice but as she bowed to him she honestly didn't mind it at all. As long as she could see the sun and feel the fresh air she was content.

* * *

She wore an elegant, white _hōmongi_ with few pastel flowers below her waist that contrasted with her exotic eyes. Her hair was done in _kepatsu_ style with a slick ponytail at her back. The dangling _bira-bira_ of her _kanzashi_ illuminated her porcelain face as she made her way towards the koi pond with a guard tailing behind her. Mikoto gave her new attire replacing the role of her unknown mother. Sakura was embarrassed by the lack of luxurious wardrobe, however seeing new robes that signalized her role of matriarch destroyed her shyness. She had to endure any misfortune, she had to remain strong and diligent. The hair accessories swooshed in the air as she stopped by the water. The fishes still swam in its crystal liquid. They were beautiful creatures. Holding wooden balustrade she looked beneath _soribashi_ to admire the wild nature. Pink locks loomed at the surface and her reflection stared at her with wide, jade eyes. She looked more mature than days before. She could feel the change in her bones. That power which flooded her veins. Smiling to herself she dropped dry leaf from the bridge onto the water. The ripple distorted her mirroring person.

Which one of them was stronger? More cunning? She didn't know. Gripping the wood her irises met blank stare of her companion. The pale boy looked troubled and anxious. Laying her head on her hands she breathed forest scent in.

"Do you know how much I have missed freedom?" her melancholic question was met with silence. She peeked over the curtain of her tresses to look at awkwardly standing male. Mirth in her soundless giggle made him stiffen more. "Do I make you uncomfortable?" he gave her short nod to which she laughed throwing another thing in the water. The trees moved by the gusts of wind that played with her _bira-bira_ , leaving her breathless. Garden was almost lifeless. Besides them and fishes in the pond there was not a living soul. Taking in the landscape she straightened up and dusted the sleeves of her robe with tenderness.

"Come, we have an important task," offering him an endearing smile was not enough to break through his rigid posture. The walk towards greenish alley was long but not unpleasant. Sakura's thoughts took her on a stroll in a memory lane. She vividly remembered how she used to play in the forest close to the river. The crown of trees were so dense that she couldn't see blueness of the sky. Sound of people washing their laundry in the stream made her oddly happy and safe. Even if the darkness of the timber scared her. The words of Mito rung in her ears even now.

 _"Such vibrant soul as yours is not meant for murk. You would wither as the gloom devours you."_

If it was a warning then she must have been blind. Looking back at the strange advice she could pinpoint the second meaning. Mito knew that she would eventually end up as a living trade to unify the lands and to bring the peace. Was the darkness already eating her heart? Her steps flattered and she slowly came to an abrupt stop. Biting her lips she slowly turned her head towards the district. It was dull and sad. The feeling of loneliness hung in the air above the houses of the camp, however she didn't see it as a bad luck. For sure, even if someone is happy and brave - there are times whenever solitude creeps upon their backs and closes its claws around their throats. Sakura vowed to believe in that. Her green eyes focused on dim smoke coming from the chimney.

"Sai," her whisper was the only sound in the empty space between them. "Have you ever felt so conflicted with yourself that you didn't know if you are able to find a place to call 'home'?" trees whirred above them as her outstanding person stared at the Uchiha mansion. The guard kicked the pebble on the road and slowly gave her curt nod. Her shoulders slumped foreword with sudden pressure between her shoulder blades. She wasn't alone in this feeling. "I'm glad then. That I am not so lonely. We can be pitiful together," her lips formed small smile and when she glanced up at the crowns of trees she had missed Sai's beam.

Gathering her kimono she started to work on the herbs that grew around the forest. There were many of them and if she wasn't capable of distinguishing between them, she would surely fail in obtaining the correct ones. Plucking them and smelling their roots was the easy part in her opinion. The hardest one, however was the tender way of mangling them into scabrous texture. Sai diligently took the flowers from her to bucket he was holding. The silence was beneficial for her troubled mind. She could easily sort up her hopes and dreams. Memories from Senju camp seemed as if she had lived two lives. One that was full of lies and paper houses. The other one more rough and dangerous but lived true to herself. Brushing her ungloved hand on the sharp edge of one of the roots, she discovered she was bleeding. The red liquid dropped between her knuckle and ring finger making her digits tremble. She was angry at herself. Being too careless was not a priority in her life. Wrinkling her nose she tried to stop effusion with the other palm - massaging it and placing cold leaves on the wound. Sai patrolled the road behind her and her crouched form hid her doings. She didn't want to return to her husband with minor injury looking like a petulant child rather than lord's wife. She was concentrating so much on how to prevent the blood from leaking that she almost missed strange sensation on her skin. There was some kind of warmth and prickling beneath her healthy limb. When she put it away she almost gasped out loud. There in the same place where the cut was, the skin completely mended itself. Examining her work she shook when she realized that previous hot feeling was her doing. Slapping a palm on her open mouth she quickly threw leaves soaked in her blood. Nobody should knew about this. Making a mess on the ground she plucked dirty flowers and hid them so no one could spot red liquid sprinkled over their petals. Soft electricity in the air ensured her that someone arrived nearby. Dusting her attire she looked over her arm to see Izuna speaking to Sai. Remembering not to forget about the herbs she gathered them and moved towards men with slow steps. She arrived before them when her husband's sibling ended his monologue.

"Izuna-san," her bow was gracious and long enough to pay him respect. As she straightened up she caught his eyes and looked down seeing an angry red glance aimed at her person. "What bring you to the forest?" small talk was not something she was perfect at. Nevertheless she tried her best to remain stoic and friendly.

"A spike of foreign chakra," his monotonous voice brought her doom. Was it her doing? Did she posses chakra after all? Every living form had chakra but Mito told her she was damaged. That she couldn't perform any chakra related tricks. She grew up believing she was just an ordinary girl without an actual talent. "Have you seen anything unnatural while working?" taking his appearance in she repressed her stupid thoughts and shook her head.

"I'm afraid I didn't pay special attention to my surroundings while plucking the herbs," she gestured to her hands full of different plants. "These are for your brother," adding important information at the end she watched his reaction as he studied her without remorse.

"He's not feeling very well," his eyes dropped down and he turned around while scanning the trees. "I'm leaving him in your hands. However," there was a tinge of fear creeping upon her spine as one of the black spots in his orbs multiplied. "If you harm him I will be the one who will have your head." With a speed she wasn't capable of describing he vanished in thin air. Her hair accessories swooshed as she let out deep breaths.

"We should head back," she prompted looking at the clouds. "There is storm coming," nodding to herself she took the basket and paddled towards the main house.

* * *

After refreshing herself and eating dinner with Izuna and elders she ended up in the kitchens mixing herbs with oil and rose water. The aroma of her mixture stuck to her skin as she gently put the textured liquid onto the trace. She also put there his favorite tea, which she begged Mikoto to tell her about. She wanted to show him how dutiful she could be. Smiling at her work Sakura's eyes twinkled while maneuvering through the corridors of her new place. The servants trailing behind her stayed in front of the shoji door when she knelt and opened them with easiness.

"My Lord," her airy words roamed around the interior while waiting for any kind of response coming from her husband. There was a grunt and taking it as a invitation she moved on the other side of the room and closed the sliding screen. "How are you fairing?" she could smell pus and taking clean cloth in her hands she dipped it in the lukewarm water.

"I have seen better days," the gruff response gave her hope for future talk as she squeezed dishcloth out of liquid. "Is this your remedy?" startled by his sudden inquiry she moved closer to him. His eyes were in worse state than this morning. The inflammation and pus leaking through his eyelids told her she had to work twice as hard as she had thought.

"Please, close your eyes. I will clean the surface of your skin," he looked weary and suspicious of her actions but in the end he did what she had wanted him to do. In slow movements Sakura massaged his eyelids and nose with a clout. With gentleness she possessed she got rid of the yellowish liquid from his eyelashes and outer corners of his eyes. "Now I'm going to put the ointment. Don't blink or it will get in your eyeballs. It would irritate your vision more," taking bowl full of green mixture she put two fingers in it and smeared it on his lids. He tensed and grabbed her wrist in a death grip. His nostrils flared and she could see how hard he was fighting with himself to let her go. "Thank you," she whispered when his touch vanished from her limb. "It must be strenuous to relay on your eyes so much," her lower lip quivered when she accidently bumped on his biceps. Finishing one side she went for the other when his palm landed on her hip. Sakura's body froze at the contact and staring at his blind person she wondered if he was scared. She couldn't imagine him being afraid of anything. His rough yet soft pads drew abstract figures on her hipbone.

"They are my weapon," his soft response sounded so unfamiliar in her ears. Madara's voice was almost coaxing.

"But you do overuse their power," she nagged smiling when she saw him frowning. Pounding the herbs onto the hurting area, her face loomed above his. She could count his eyelashes, which surprisingly were long for a male. She wondered if he had noticed her faint freckles upon her nose whenever the sun touched her cheeks. Reprimanding herself for such frivolous thoughts she bit her inner cheeks. Dabbing more of the flower's oil onto the skin under his eyes she turned to the trace. "You will have to sit up for the next step," her instruction was met with an obedient action. Hiding her smile behind her hair she took white bandage in her digits. "I will cover your sockets at least for three days. I will change the patch every morning and evening," she parted his tresses and began to roll the material.

"I do not have a time for such things," his hot breath flew against her collarbones as she did another layer of the patching.

"Then you will go blind," her terse sentence made him tense and she could see how his muscles ripped around his backs and abdomen. "I only do what is best for you in this state," making strong twist at the end of the bandage she looked at his face. He looked pathetic. "I think I have to comb you hair," his head snapped at her words and before she could stood up he caught the hem of her yukata with his usual force. Her knees gave in and she fell next to him. His masculine scent attacked her senses as she leaned on his shoulder.

"Why are you so… _ethical_?" he spat in her ear never letting her go. Her heartbeat faltered in her chest when she tried to make her position more comfortable. Her irises glowed in the darkness as she listened to his pulse next to her head. He felt so real. Like nothing before. Like he was hers.

He was brute, he was violent and vile. He was many things that she couldn't bring herself to pity him. He had hurt her. Humiliated her. He had done so much damage to her young body that she cried herself to sleep wishing he would vanish. Nevertheless, in that moment with his bandaged eyes and raspy breaths coming from his mouth glued to her tresses she wondered if she was perhaps wrong? How one person could redeem herself or himself in one night? Closing her eyes she inwardly leaned in his warmth. She wouldn't forgive him. She would remember all these humiliating times that she had suffered from his hand. Sakura was always too good for this world. Even tonight with her killer husband - she pondered about the fact that he had to be brought up this way. That there was some kind of explanation for everything.

"We as a living human beings should care for each other. No matter the differences between us. If somebody is hurting would you leave him to suffer and die? If you could help him ease the pain would you turn around and close your eyes to his demise? I believe we should seek the help from others and give them our best. If I were to die alone I would be terrified. If some unknown person would have spared his precious time to be with me till my dying breath I would have been glad. Everybody is scared of loneliness. Kings and queens, mothers and fathers, children and teens. If you look closely you can spot that fear in the animals too," her melodic voice echoed around them and she smiled against his shoulder to give herself more time to think. "Every living thing deserves second chance. The boy who stole a bread because his family was starving. Or the girl who hit the chicken due to the lack of money. Every action has an underneath meaning. The two sides of a coin. I'm healing you because you are my husband and I vowed to treasure you and share your pain. However, I'm also healing you to show you how kind and gentle human touch can be. Not everything can be achieved by violence," her chin nuzzled his neck. "I will gladly show you that. You had hurt me, me and my body but I remained here. I wish you would stop tormenting me like that. If you don't know any other way of showing affection… I can teach you," she distanced herself from Madara's body to look at his rigid posture. "You were gentle the first time you took me. I can see traces of goodness in you, but they are hidden deep inside you," Sakura's palm touched his chest. "Every being that has a beating heart inside them is able to feel love. I sincerely wish you painless recovery. I do not wish to inflict any pain on you as you did on me," ending her speech she freed herself from his personal space and put dirty bowl on the trace. Gathering her supplies she stood up and opened the window. There was a starry sky. Inhaling the night breeze she glanced at the sitting form of her husband.

"Will you be able to remain in this household?" he asked looking in her direction even with patch covering his eyes. His senses were outstanding. "There is nothing more important to me than my clan," his fingers twisted tatami mats when he spoke.

"You are my husband. I remain wherever you are," her steps were cautious when she went to grab the empty bottles of oil. "You are my family now. _My home_ ," her words were clipped and rushed because in the moment she said them, a heavy sensation came onto her person. She finally had a place to call home. It wasn't the kingdom full of fairies as she had fantasized as a small child. Nor the sunny beaches of the Suna realms. It wasn't Senju gardens full of colorful plants and hidden fears. It was gloomy district that Mito told her would suck her life out of her. Maybe she had lied to her. She had to. Because how could she describe the force surging through her right now?

Home. She looked out of the window and saw rooftops of many houses clinging next to each other. She was lonely as Uchihas too. She was outcast as his clan too. _Maybe…_ maybe they could be lonely together as well.

* * *

 **AN:** Thank you for the positive feedback. I will share some of the details from the chapter, especially when it comes to Sakura's wardrobe.

 _ **Hōmongi -**_ it is given to the woman when she marries, to signify her womanhood has transcended into a married life. It is of a less colourful and attention-drawing than the kimono of unmarried women, but it can be worn by unmarried women too. Well, Mikoto gave Sakura this one. She wasn't even prepared to marry and Senju did not seem to have one sent with her. You can google them, they are beautiful.

 _ **Kanzashi -**_ are hair ornaments used in traditional Japanese hairstyles. Some models may have been modified for self-defence.

 **Bira-bira** – also called _Fluttering_ or _Dangling style_ , these are composed of metal strips attached by rings to the body of the ornament so that they move independently, pleasantly tinkling (which is sometimes accentuated by additional bells or long chains of silk flowers called _shidare_ ). That's why there was huge emphasis on the movements of Sakura's bira-bira.

I have wanted to show you more of the pensive side of the story. Madara's point of view will be sporadic because it gives too much insight. Furthermore - well, have you seen Sakura's magic? Well is this something you have anticipated? Many of you asked about her powers - there is beginning. Now I will answer some of your comments.

 **I'm in here -** thank you for saying that Sakura is strong. Many people seem to have that misconception that she is useless and weak. She is not. Maybe she is not wilding a sword or killing her enemies - she is strong because she endured every bad thing that life has thrown at her. She was sold, she was humiliated yet she did not lose her true self. And yes, she is strong surrounded by a clan full of capable warriors. She isn't too empowered in actual combat but she is strong when it comes to her mind and politics.

 **Theo1987** \- are they bad guys or aren't they? We shall see. About the length of the story - I want to keep it under the 30 chapters mark. Thank you for you kind words.

 **Wolfstars** \- thank you for liking the plot. It means much to me. When it comes to beta I usually had bad experience with them. That is why I decided to post chapters by myself. I look at them many times to see how can I improve my writing. If you have good beta rec please send my DM. I would be grateful.

 **LuizaMartins** \- i'm terribly sorry but I don't understand your comment due to the language barrier, however thank you for posting it. No matter if it is critique or feedback.

to Guests wondering about Madara's change - it will be revealed later on. If I put everything into one chapter the story would be boring and predictable.

to Guests wondering about Itachi - he will be back. Wait for him patiently.

 **Caribbianbeauty17** \- this story will never be abandoned. Thank you for sticking with it. And yes, I do reread chapters of stories that are updated in huge breaks. Thank you for the kind words!

 **ChiRagWyn** \- i always tend to leave a trace of doubt and suspicion because every character has a role to play. What was that made Madara so angry? I think his pov will be the answer. When? Well, when it is the time. As for the chinese drama reference. I want to make this story interesting and not so predictable so I have taken huge inspiration from chinese and korean dramas. Thank you for sending me good luck with BA. Hopefully it will be over soon because I'm dying lol.

And to more unpleasant ones - I get where you come from. There were warnings before you decided to read the story. It is historical au, I'm not going to sugar coat things. If it is not your cup of tea then you have my blessing because I'm not into many things as well. However, telling an author that their story is disgusting is rather rude. I put so much into my writing, writing for free for people that are interested in stories that have more depth than other teen aus. You are free to drop my story any minute you want, I can read constructive critique as well but bad mouthing plot. Yes Madara is abusive - he is a lord, killer who did not have any chance to love another one. I don't agree with abuse - however the setting is historical/feudal/warring states period. I'm trying to give justice to real history. Thank you for coming to my Ted talks.

On a positive note - I wish that this chapter could be animated as a one of Ghibli's movies.


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